A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Cupid,I am 20 years and i have been dating the love of my life for over 4 years. He is my age and we have been going to school together. However, i feel confused of late. He is a very nice guy the kind of guy who will never cheat on you ever no matter what. However, he does not trust me at all. Initially, he would make a fuss about me hanging out with any other guy apart from him. All the guys who showed even a slight interest in me he cut off completely from my life which i did not mind then. However he seems to still not trust me four years down the lane. Recently i changed my skype password(he has all my passwords) and he made a big fuss of it but later apologized. Last week i had applied for a writer position and i was chatting with the potential employer about how he got to start writing and all that. When i asked my boyfriend if I can take up the position, he told me i cannot go to training to someone i have never met. i also did not mind that as i thought it made sense. I deleted all the communication i had with the writer and forgot about it. However, last week he called me up very mad saying that i am cheating on him with a stranger(the writer) and i was very hurt. I love him very much but i feel like i cannot live like this without any trust. he tells me he gets like this with me because he is so scared of losing me. I feel like I am trapped in a relationship that makes me cry evrytime the trust issue comes up. I feel really bad. Please help me to know how to best deal this.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Dump him. He's preventing you from furthering your career and having fun with guy friends that are just friends. He's being a horrible boyfriend. He made you turn down a position that could have dramatically changed your writing career for the better. And then, after you respected his wishes and did what he said, he accused you of having an affair! Dump him.
Oh, and another thing. Don't ask your boyfriend if you can take jobs or have fun with friends. Its your life, TELL him your accepting the position and your going out with friends. Although I believe you are going to dump him, this rule applies to every relationship.
Don't worry, something better is out there.
A
male
reader, soon567  +, writes (5 September 2011):
Your guy is a control freak and it always leads to abuse. You will never change this guy at all. You wont see this untill he start slapping you around. You should have look for a guy that complemented you, some that will be compatable to you, not a daddy figure that tells you what you can and cant do.
You need to stand up for yourself, letting him have you password is one thing but having him actually go through your stuff is another. Why are you with this guy?
You want trust and respect then earn it. Tell him to get lost then come back after he seek counseling, otherwise just take what he dishes out at you like a good little girl. If you do that then maybe you beating will be less.
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