A
female
age
36-40,
*anessa4U
writes:At the beginning (11 years ago) we lasted quite long... my husband (7 years) now cums so fast... or his urge to let it go happens as soon as I do anything to him, from stroking it, BJ and as soon as he enters me he can't hold out. But with his ex's he would last a lot longer than he has ever with me. I asked him, what does he think it is... he has no answer... can someone help me out here?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2016): He might have lowish dopamine function, &/or high serotonin. High serotonin means stress and inflammation. The medical establishment is slowly changing it's mind about serotonin
A
female
reader, Vanessa4U +, writes (10 September 2016):
Vanessa4U is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your amazing responses.I should be more specific. We've been together since I was 16 and him 18 going 19. We consummated our relationship when I was a few months short of 18.My husband is now 32. His job isn't so stressful... on the contrary mine is more demanding and highly stressful. He's very healthy, fit, exceresises every morning. He did suffer due to depression of our long distance relationship of many years which resulted in acid reflux/Gerd and thyroid. Both of now are under control since managing bring him to the same country. And is recovering over the last two year and 2 months.We did not indulge in much sex for the first year and a half, which for me... personally it drove me mad but I had to understand that I was here working 7 days a week and running around the clock whilst he was in a different country and only working one job so he didn't cope with 2 years of not seeing each other so well. It drove him to a point where he got jaundice and typhoid and was hospitalised for sometime as well.He is puzzled on what is going on with him, but has always told me I make him ejaculate fast. He's a regimental guy... same schedule day in day out. Does really know how to relax or allow himself to do so.I don't know how long he was with his ex's but he's more direct as I feel he's more annoyed about finishing so fast. Most of the time around 60% of the time im good as long as i reach my climax I relax but it would be good to have a good session.Round twos are difficult to reach, as we're pretty much exhausted by the end of the day. The pointment on the guy time could possibly helping... now that's we've moved in with his friend and his friends wife seems to lift up his spirits a bit, so the sex is somewhat more regular... but he feels so exhausted after every ejaculation (I literally have to ride him so slowly so he doesn't finish before me). Maybe going to the doctors and having this investigated would help... i think he's not so comfortable about it though... he thinks now that his penis stands better abd stronger that the issue of fast ejaculation is just because it's me...My demand or show for wanting anything has gone to bed and if see that we're not going to have a session I take care of myself.. but i cant help but think... whats different about me that he ejaculatesaid with just a BJ of 2-5 seconds and can barely take the pressure of entering me
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (8 September 2016):
 There are psychological causes as well as physical ones. Both of these change as we get older, and physical ones change for sure. Things like hormone levels ( low T, low DHEA or else) definitively happen, prostate issues, thyroid... all these occur under the hood and they can manifest themselves as premature ejaculation. If this was me, I'd go to the doctor and do thorough blood work on minerals, hormones, thyroid, prostate... to get a picture of what's happening.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2016): How old is he? Why don't you guys go for round two-- he probably would last longer.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (7 September 2016):
 He might be working too hard.
Not getting enough relaxation time.
Long hours, stress at work or even juggling finances can all impact on a person.
Does he eat on the run?
Does he choose healthy options when it comes to food?
Or is he needing some 'guy time' to recharge his batteries? Perhaps a fishing trip with his guy friends? Or an easy cycle to a rural area nearest to where you live, and back.
I heard an interesting speaker recently on the incidence of prostate problems, even, occasionally amongst younger men. I erroneously thought of prostate issues as mainly affecting older men. I was wrong. Younger men can have no visible symptoms. But if there is a problem (the Doctor tests the client and then can confirm is all is OK) then these problems could affect a man and cause tiredness.
Has he become less adventurous and more settled? Perhaps accumulated a few pounds? If yes then a few changes to his diet could work wonders.
And then there is how he feels if you are managing to communicate your dissatisfaction with his performance. Maybe not in words. But by your reaction and your attitude.
That would certainly put the pressure on him.
Brighten up his day, surprise and delight him in ways that don't communicate an expectation of sex to follow so out with greeting him at the door wearing an apron, Just an apron I mean.
Instead ask him how he's ''Really feeling''
and sit down and listen to his response
Offer to give him a foot massage and stop at the ankle. Or a hand massage and stop at the wrist. Make no demand nor ask for more.
How long since the two of you had a short vacation trip away, togeth?
Find ways to focus in things he does do well that are non-sexual.
Try a new hair color. Or join a gym together. There is nothing like a session of exercise to lift one's mood from down to more upbeat.
Maybe he feels under pressure for any number of reasons. All such pressures can affect performance.
Get in the habit of doing something nice with him or for him but then go back to shelling the peas or folding the washing so that he learns that you are not pressuring him for some loving times.
Though I am all for really pretty nighties. Even if nothing happens as a result you will still go to bed feeling like a princess.
Slowly and steadily he'll become more relaxed. He's younger and after some attention t
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2016): How do you know how long he lasted with his exes? Were you there?
Biologically, neither of you are physically what you were 7-11 years ago. How unrealistic!
Try letting him bring you to orgasm first. Make him use his tongue, hands, and fingers. Save intercourse for last.
Use more foreplay. Tease. Bring him only so far, and slow down or stop.
If you're too intense at the very beginning, it's more like masturbation than making love. Nibble his ears, kiss around his stomach, penis, and testicles; to take some of the sexual-tension away from the head of his penis. If your stroking and grinding is too rushed after a log period without sex, he'll ejaculate quickly. He's been anticipating sex all day; as most men do. So you both need to slow your roll.
He's also self-conscious; because you're sitting there with a stop-watch timing his orgasm.
Add love, affection, and passion to love-making; and not be so focused on his penis and past relationships. He has other erogenous-zones. There are also gels that have a slightly numbing-effect that prolong sensation before orgasm. Read-up and experiment. Try something new and creative; and you'll take your focus off how his penis works and how he used to have sex years ago.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 September 2016):
 Can we check the timeline? You're 26 - 29 and you've been together since you were 15 - 18 and you know he lasted longer with exes he had at such a young age?
Maybe he needs to see a doctor. Maybe he needs to keep the focus on you after he's finished. Either way, comparing him now to over a decade ago isn't a good idea; it's harmful.
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