A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Dear AuntsThere was a guy pursuing me and flirting with me for weeks. I did not notice the attraction initially. I then returned the flirting. We have exchanged numbers and we have spoken a little. He has now gone cold on me. He still looks at me when he sees me but it as if he is upset with me. My last message he did not respond to - I just said that I have not seen him for a while and hope he still wants to speak to me. Hope all's well with him.I don't get it.I know there are a few unhelpful people on here who will come out with "just forget him and move on". If there are more experienced aunts with more positive and well thought out responses, I'd really appreciate it.
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exchanged numbers, flirt, move on Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 October 2016):
How is it possible to know that someone Facebook stalked you and then not even on your friend list?
Maybe you should just drop him another message and ask him if he is upset with you? Or else ask him the next time you see him have you done something wrong?
A
female
reader, MartiJJ +, writes (25 October 2016):
You might have to brace yourself for the fact that you might never know, but consider this, did someone else say something to him to scare him away? I once worked in an office where the floor supervisor clearly liked the new secretary, he was considering asking her out and said so to a colleague, who proceeded to tell him a complete lie about the secretary simply to put him off as he also fancied his chances, in another situation I witnessed a gent discuss his desire to date a new girl within a workgroup outside of work, and a female colleague told him a fabrication about the new girl out of jealousy! I know this guy might not be from work but if you know people in common or people have seen you flirt then it's a possibility, the only other thing I can think of is that some people do this on purpose, to get the other person to feel bad, simply because they are twisted, it's some sort of sick game they play either with themselves or with their equally twisted mates.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2016): Think of the last conversation you had with him before he changed towards you. What did you talk about? Could he have misinterpreted something you said that has given him cause to be upset with you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2016): Thank you for your help, I don't understand why someone would make all that effort to pursue someone. I have evidence that he has Facebook stalked me as I did not befriend him but he has blocked me because I did that first. It's like we are playing like kids. I be delete my whatsapp so he can see my movements.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 October 2016):
So I take it from the last paragraph of your post that you are only interested in answers which urge you to chase this guy? Sorry, I'm out in that case.
You have made yourself available and he has chosen to back off. You basically have two choices: you have to do the pursuing (but hopefully not in a bunny boiler sort of way) and hope he starts showing interest again or you have to work out for yourself that he has either lost interest for some reason or he has found someone else.
You do realize, don't you, that he could just be one of those guys who enjoys the chase and, as soon as someone starts showing interest back, he loses interest and moves on to someone else? Sadly there are people like that around.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2016): I think that if he wanted to talk to you, he would. But if you want to pursue him, just text him "so when are you going to ask me out to dinner?" You'll have an answer with how he responds.
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