A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im so stuck. I feel lost and heartbroken. And im really uncertain of what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. I have always been faithful to him. Completely stopped talking to other boys infact to make him feel better. Although he has not always been the same. I found out about six different occasions, and six different girls my boyfriend has cheated. Asking these girls for sexual favours telling them they are the most beautiful girls he has ever seen, that he loves them, and that he wishes they was his. Every time i have found out it has broken me more and more. And every time i have told him im leaving him. He starts crying and telling me he will seriously hurt himself if he doesnt have me i his life. He told me each and every time he will never do it again, but i can never believe that. I love him with all my heart and i see him cry i end up giving in and staying. I know thats why he crys because he knows it makes me feel bad, but i really cant help it. I really love this boy. Yet every day i think about it. When we go places i know he seen the girls it upsets me, makes me cry. He doesnt allow me to talk about it or the way it made me feel. He just expects me to deal with it. If i mention it, it makes him feel bad. But i feel more than bad. I feel broken. I feel like im nothing. I dont know what i can do :( /3
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female
reader, amazingk  +, writes (24 April 2011):
 You love him more than you love yourself. Never a good position to put yourself in. If you have to choose between loving yourself and loving somebody else, ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU!!! A relationship that's worth being in compliments your life and enhances your well being. This man and what he's done to you and is currently doing to you is destroying you. Obviously, he doesn't care, which is why he hasn't changed, but you must not care too much, either, to continue to remain and take it. He is NOT the last man on earth, and even if he was you'd still be better off without him. Find whatever shred of strength that still remains left in you and LET HIM GO! Do it as a favor to yourself. Nobody can treat you as badly as you have allowed him to without your permission.
A
male
reader, holdfasthope +, writes (24 April 2011):
I am currently the guilty party myself and I am putting my self in te other girls shoes. Ask yourself: is he willing to change. For me, I have renewed my religious beliefs attend therapy take my psych meds and also attend group therapy sessions. It seems like for him, hes NOT going to change so leaving him will make him WANT to change. You've given him 6 chances that is enough; I suffer from bipolar disorder myself so infidelity is certainly not justifies but also is a contributing factor. The difference here is that with what I have done, I am willing to change and only for the better, while your ex has gone off the deep end. Just make sure that he doesn't harm himself or others...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 April 2011):
 Its who he is. He is trying to control you by putting on the water works and then threatning to hurt himself if you leave. He is only threatning this because he knows if he tells you he loves you cries and says he cant live without you well then you are stupid enough to fall for it time and time again. He doesnt care about you or your feelings he gets what he wants. You have found out 6 occasions but I bet there has been many more times that you just dont know about. He will keep doing this to you. No matter what you do he will keep getting with other girls because he doesnt respect you. He thinks of you as a push over now.
The only thing you can do, if you have any self respect is to leave him. You must have some self confidence. Yes it will hurt for a while. But in time you will soon ask yourself why you ever stayed with him so long and let him treat you life a fool. Also if you are having sex with him I suggest getting a sti check as who knows what you could catch of him.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (24 April 2011):
 Never let someone make you feel so down and shatter your confidence so you feel like nothing. This guy is no good for you!
You need to leave this guy immediately, you should of left him the first time this happened, there are so many honest and good guys out there and it absolutely tears me up inside to see girls I have liked in the past dating absolute dicks and have their heart broken.
You need to leave this guy and show him what he is missing by dating someone who will treat you like a princess.
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