A
female
age
36-40,
*andlelight7
writes:I had posted a question a while back, wondering what to do about my boyfriend with an anger problem.i've now reached the point where i'm ready to leave, as soon as my mother gets a place, hopefully before August.My question is HOW do i leave this man?He is 12 years older than me. Meaning i'm 20, he's 32.We've been together about 1 year and 2 1/2 months..He has an anger problem.When he gets to the top of his anger, he makes this stupid pouty face, whines and then puts his teeth together and throws things at me. Last time he threw a Dr Pepper bottle at me and a gallon of water. Before, he's picked up his barbell that had 2 small weights on it and held it above me in anger as if he was going to throw it at me or something. He's kicked furniture over in front of his family, whenever he gets angry at someone at work, he talks about killing them or beating the crap out of them...i don't like it.His family knows hes like this, yet none of them say anything.Maybe they think its normal.But i dont.i'm afraid to leave. i don't know what to tell him, maybe if i lie and say i'm all of a sudden gay...i've been trying to come up with ideas like that because i'm afraid he'll try to hurt me or come after me and my family or something after i move out.Advice please!
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female
reader, candlelight7 +, writes (13 October 2008):
candlelight7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question UPDATE:i finally left him two and a half weeks ago. His brother and my mother got into a very loud late night verbal confrontation and the cops were called and it was clear he was choosing his brother over me, because he couldn't understand why i no longer felt safe living with him and his brother under the same roof. So ive been living elsewhere since then. It's hard, but i did it. i move the final part of my things out of his house on Tuesday. Sometimes i find myself happy about it, other times i find myself sad about it. But i know in the end, it's probably for the best. Just thought i'd let you guys know :]
A
female
reader, candlelight7 +, writes (14 July 2008):
candlelight7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni guess i should've mentioned i live with him.
To Jasmine05: My mother told me to do that. Since im getting my license back soon, she said it would be best to move me and my things out of here when theyre all at work. Theres plenty of days where its like that. And then just leave him a note. But i dont know. i would feel guilty about just up and leaving him without notice. He's not like that all the time. Just every now and then. And if i just up and left, i'd be even more worried that he'd come looking for me, because i think that would make him more angry then just telling him. But i dont know.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 There is only one way - tell him the relationship is over and tell him the reasons why you dont feel the same for him. If he continues to harass you, you will need the assistance of your police department. He doesnt have an anger problem he is physically abusive and that alone is a good enough reason not to be with him. Can you imagine the damage he could have done to you had he thrown the barbell at you?
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 oh babe! i know your situation, because i was there myself not so long back. well done for getting up the courage to leave.
the best thing you can do, is invite a friend over, sit him down and simply say: its over, im leaving now. then get up to leave. you dont need to give him any more conversation or time in your life than that. try to get out of there as soon as you can. email me to let me know how you get on. best of luck
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