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female
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anonymous
writes: I am engaged to be married to my partner of 7years. There is only one problem...his wandering eyes...It seems whenever we go somewhere he hones in on the prettiest or most skantily dressed females. I have spoken to him about it before he apologised and makes an effort to be more 'discreet' but still it happens. I realise that to some women this is no big deal but I feel very strongly that I want a relationship where my man is visually faithful...I dont want to keep asking him to stop as it seems unfair to try and change him and he would only stop looking (if he did) because I asked him to not because he wanted to stop. How should I seperate and if so how do I call off our engagement. I really want a man who 'only has eyes for me and if none exist then I am happy to be single and casually date. Please help how do I word the fact that he's not the guy for me..especially seeing as we have a son together?
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male
reader, Eiax  +, writes (8 October 2010):
Hey..Am a guy and I know looking at girls while am in relationship is unfaithful even if I dont mean it,Well I dont acutally do such things like dat as am too loyal for my gf,But however in my opinion any guy who look at pretty girl as he is in relationship hes a joke and has problems but tis better if ya embarrase him in public so he wont do it anymore but if he did argue with ya about it later just leave him for good,And yeah why guys looking at pretty girls while they have a lover?? As am a man I dont really know..This doesnt make sence for real,Ya got a gf look at her as much a ya want but dont look at others.
A
female
reader, tana2  +, writes (14 June 2010):
Hi, in the past i have had the same problem with my husband and have handled it by saying come on dear lets go, if your done looking at the pretty lady, or if we are in the middle of a grocery line and he is checking out someone in the next line I just say out loud shes very pretty isn't she, he usually gets embarassed and says i wasn't looking at her i just was looking around and then yah, i noticed her but not on purpose. He gets all flustered it's really cute. It's not a big deal really, especially if you handle it right, instead of him getting mad at you and calling you jelous, he gets embarassed because he doesn't want everyone to know what he was doing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): My boyfriend of two years had the same problem. A year after we were together we were at a party and he was serving finger food to the guest. However he hand fed a younger woman in her mouth in front of me and he enjoyed it very much. When I discussed it with him,he said I was making a big deal out of nothing. Aside from that, he has a wandering eye that I think is to the extreme. He would fixed his eyes and would follow his gaze on the woman for a long time and would even take a second look. Sometimes I caught him smiling at the woman. He was like a radar. I told him that made me uncomfortable. He said he liked to look and that I could look too. He still did it and our relationship ended. It make me feel like I couldn't trust him and that he didn't care about my feeling.
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A
female
reader, Zara +, writes (5 September 2006):
I understand your concern. I was once married to a man who had wandering eyes. I find this to be very disrespectful. It is usually a sign of the character he has. I have found over the years that those with wandering eyes have wandering hands.If you have already expressed your concerns to him and he has continued without care, I would seriously re-consider marriage to such a person who does not respect your feelings. Move on darling!!
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A
male
reader, DannySanto +, writes (5 September 2006):
 As a guy, i know how difficult it is for other guys to not look, as its totally natural. But i also know that because i look at the prettiest girls and most skankily dressed, it doesnt mean that i want to sleep with them. However, its totally wrong for him to do it infront of you.Its understandable that you feel this way, and you must be thinking about how much he must do it when your not around. But instead of rushing to it, why dont you give him one final warning. Tell him how much it hurts you and how you want him to only have eyes for you. And how wuold he like it if you were dribbling like a dog everytime a guy walked past. It's important that he knows that this is his last chance so that he doesnt break this promise just like he did to all the other ones. So make sure you say this is his last chance and that you'll be forced to end the relationship if he cant stop.If you decide that its even beyond reasoning and you definatly want to break it off, theres no need ot let it go on bad terms. It's best you both sit down in a private place, make sure its not public. Tell him that you cant take it anymore, and that his wondering eye has made you feel like this. Say its best that you break up and then explain what you really want from a relationship. I cant predict his reaction, but stay true to what your telling him. Good luck!
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