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male
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anonymous
writes: I am in love with my girlfiends's sister. I have known both for years but my girlfriend was in my group of friends and it just seemed natural to hook up since we both cared about each other. Now I realize that I don't love her in that way, and since have realized her sister is more like someone I am looking for. Her sister dated one of her ex-boyfriends in the past, but I still feel like she is off limits. So I stay in my current relationship just kinda going through the motions and only being 75% as happy as I could be and being tormented by my feelings for her sister everytime she is around. I am lost, and have no idea what to do. I don't even feel like I have a choice because of dumb fincial decisions have made it so my girlfriend and I have to put our money together to pay the bills. Is there anything I can do?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (5 September 2006):
 Have you considered the fact that the Sister wont feel the same way anyway! And besides the reality of you finishing with your girl and then dating her sister is pretty remote! They are sisters remember, and and if she loves you, how heartbroken will she be that you cop off with her sister!! She will feel that her whole relationship with you was a lie... Just because one of her ex boyfriends was a boyfriend of the sisters, doesnt mean that they really go in for that sort of thing, im sure she would have checked with her sister first.. But the thing is you dont love your girlfriend you have just said that, and you are not happy, is it really fair whatever the outcome of the sister thing, to keep her stringing along? you make it sound as though you are just staying with her as it suits you financially.. Im not saying you asked for this and you wanted it to happen, fact is it has, but the best thing you can do is come clean with your girl that you dont love her and let her get over you and find herself someone that will... if luck should fall your way and her sister feels the same for you then play that card when it comes along but its unlikely... you need to do the right thing here and dont just stay with your gf, so that you are close to the sister, the one you really have the feelings for it isnt fair. Irrespective of what happens with you and the sister if anything... you need to let your GF go, she deserves better than a guy that is just going through the motions... please set her free and she can find someone that will love her the way you seem to love her sister.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2006): only 75% happy? your lucky some of us arent even that! Of course theres something you can do you can either dump your current gf and get with her sister or stay with your current gf and maybe get over her sister. And the money thing is a stupid reason for staying together. Take time out away from both ladies and try to work out your feelings, maybe write them down? No one knows the best solution you just have to make a descion and stick with it. gd luck
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