A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:this guy says he is madly attracted to me.There is nothing i can do can make him not like me. At the same time he says he doesn't want to be involved because he will loose his independence, and he will be responsible for my happiness and cannot bear to see me hurt. we had an amazing weekend together and he says things like if he could relive one day in his life it would be the one we had. But his fear of dependency keeps coming up, and the fact that he will one day hurt me so much - so better to do it now. as a result he broke up with me today. (we've been physically intimate for a month, but known each other as close friends for a year.) however we work in the same office. to top it off he has an unpredictable medical condition that makes him experience extreme pain at times and he does not want anyone to see him experience it. He says i'm one of the only people he told. he tells me no one should have to deal with this shit, that i don't know what i'm getting into, and i should be with someone that can do any activity with me at any point. i suppose it is a combination of his medical condition and his fear of commitment, but we get along so well together. I love spending time with him, and i love his smell. i've been very upfront - that i am interested in being romantically involved and that we can work through the issues that come up. He says relationships stress him out. should i give up hope altogether? or should i try to convince him that we can make it work. it is hard because i know we still like each other, and working in close quarters will be torturous temptation. i need to make up my mind whether or not to let myself give in to future temptation, as i don't want this to be a dramatic yo-yo.
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female
reader, supermum  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Sounds like he has some issues he needs to work out before he can enter any relationship . I would recommend he goes to to some counselling to get over his issues before you attempt to coerce him into a relationship he is scared of.Good luck!
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