A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 23 years old and have been with my boyfrined for 3 months, he is 28. We had sex a few times a month or so after we got together (3 to be precise) but since then we haven't had any, not even any foreplay. It is a struggle just to get him to give me a nice long kiss, I think because he feels it may lead elsewhere. He has admitted to me recently that he has a low sex drive, which I was quite relieved to hear as I was struggling with the fact that perhaps it was about me. However it has now been 2 months since we had sex last and I am very frustrated. Although he says its not about me I struggle daily with the fact that it may be. I really like him and everything else in the relationship is really good, we have a lot of laughs together and have loads in common and we have had many lovely evenings together. He has stayed the night many times and we always cuddle up to one another in bed but surely with the relationship being so new he should not be able to keep his hands off me! I'm not wanting it all the time but more than this would be a good! I had more when I was single! I don't know what to do. He said he would meet me half way but then when I initiate it he is completely uninterested which makes me feel foolish and unwanted. He says he feels uncomfortable about the situation too but its all I can think of, I fancy him so much and I just want to feel intimate with him in this way
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female
reader, Fira-Infinity  +, writes (7 November 2010):
Here is a list of things that can cause low sex drive in men: • Suboptimal amounts of testosterone in the body • Stress • Not enough sleep • Unresolved conflicts in the relationship • A desire to control or punish spouse • A way to have power over spouse • Sexual orientation conflict or confusion • Anger • Past sexual abuse • Working long hours • Too much alcohol consumption • Male andropause • Cardiovascular disease • Diabetes • Parkinson's disease • Endocrine or neurological disorders • Hypothroidism • Depression • Family worries • Anemia • Arthritis • Chronic pain • Antidepressants • Tranquilizers • Antihypertensive medications • Illegal substances such as heroin, cocaine and marijuana • Infidelity
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): there seems to be an epidemic now a days called porn addiction, it takes away their sex drive and messes them up in the head. It's just a possibility...ask him if he can get it up when he watches porn and how often does he do this ........ be prepared to be lied to, it is an embarrassing affliction that is not readily admitted to. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Thanks dapone 1. What type of symptoms do you mean?
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A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis +, writes (29 October 2007):
 I hate to say it, but mismatched sex drives usually put strain on everything else in the relationship.You can either reach a compromise together and increase the frequency in which you do this slowly.Usually sex begets more sex, so the hardest bit will be starting, but then hopefully will then naturally run its course.However, you must be prepared to face the fact that you two may not be matched.
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A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (29 October 2007):
 I'm no doctor so I'll not attempt to offer advice on the psychological/medical side. What I will say is that a high sex drive and a low sex drive don't mix very well. I'm very fortunate in having an open relationship where I am free to meet others, however this takes a very special type of guy to allow this. I am blessed.
Long-term unless he gets help you will have problems.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (29 October 2007):
 hello.
I think there maybe more to this condition that your bf is saying, some time the cause of low sex drive can be a few things, but at his age group it must be very rare, there are a several thing that can cause this condition, some are minor things but one is not, he should either go to doctor have a blood test or go to a chemist for a blood glucose test.
if you want to you can contact me and tell me if he has any other systems, i would be grateful and it may put your mind at rest.
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