A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,I really like this friend of mine for a year. I never tell him how I fee because he has a long distance relationship with a girlfriend. But sometimes he keeps sending me mix signals that makes me wonder if he likes me more than just a friend too... or just messing with meHe is my roommate/cousin's best friend. Very open, easygoing, friendly guy. He is popular among his friends. He is also a huge nerd (collecting figures and watching anime/cartoons/comics). We've known each for three years. He goes to school in a different area so I only see him a couple times in a year. When he's back in the area, he often comes to our place just chill or play games. Everything sounds normal until he did these things:- teases me a lot, pokes or tickles me- sometimes i caught him looking at me. - he touches me a lot. One time he was playing video games and I was reading a book. We're siting closely in the couch and I fell asleep. He gently pat me on the head and ran his hand down my back. Then I rolled over to his side and leaned on him. He comfortably laid his hand on my lap and moved around my legs, knees. It’s not a perverted way of touching, but more a sensual one. It was not the first time he acted this way. It happens whenever we're alone or other friends are knock out. - We used to hang out with a group of friends when he's back in town. But recently he just hang out with me and my roommate. (mostly with my roommate) - the way he gaze/stare at me. Though he's good at making eye contact with people... he still makes me feel different. But what gets me confused:- he has a long term girlfriend and he never really talks about their relationship- he mentioned once he wasn't sure about keeping this relationship or whether he should date around more (seems like he doesn't know what's dating with someone else)- but they are still together somehow- I crashed his place once and we slept together on his bed. He didn't touch me while i was (fake) asleep. but when I rolled on his side and he didn't turned away either. I asked him did i move a lot when i sleep and he said no. Hmm, is it normal we slept on the same bed like that? - we don't text/msg a lot. I'm usually the one trying to talk him. He talks to my cousin a lot and knows stuffs about me through my cousin. He is a like puzzle. I have no idea what's on his mind...How can I tell if this guys like me? (without telling him how I feel)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2015): Thank you all for the advice! Yeah, I thought about the consequence of letting this happen and the feeling of the GF. I felt guilty and confused. I constantly ask myself why the heck I am seeing in this guy. I totally agreed with the self respect and respect his relationship part.
Thanks for saving me from falling into a relationship shit hole before it's too late!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 June 2015):
 If I were you I'd keep my feelings to myself. Why, you may ask...? Because HE has a GF, and he is CHOOSING to BE with her even if he at times is unsure of the relationship.
If all the touchy stuff makes you think he LIKES you, maybe you need to tell him next time he tries to touch you, to keep his hands to himself. It's not being rude, it's being honest.
Now for the most part I don't see his actions (as you mention them) as romantic. I have had many male friends, some more touchy feely than others. BUT when I had a BF or they had a GF, I always made sure it stayed pretty platonic. It is easy to blur those lines of what is platonic/friendly touch and what is romantic.
Teasing, pokes or tickling is not all that romantic. It's something a brother would do.
Looking at you... well, you are there. Most people LOOK at whomever they interact with.
Touching you while you are half-asleep or asleep? well, that isn't OK... that is kind of groping. A little creepy.
YOU are ALLOWING all these PHYSICAL gestures, because you HOPE he will dump the GF and date you. My guess is you would cross the line with sex if the chance arose, and YOU would be the one getting hurt if you did. It would backfire.
I'd honestly BACK off instead. Because your strategy isn't working. He won't dump her because he gets to touch you.
He MIGHT be missing the touching because he is in a LDR, but that doesn't mean he should make you the "surrogate" GF.
Let me ask you this OP, HOW would you FEEL if your BF had a female friend who he was touchy feely with? Not great, right? So have some self respect and respect for his relationship and don't allow it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2015): shucks darling he has put himself out ofbounds and you are champing at the bit. Consider what would happen if you got into the come on situation ofsex on a plate. He would say after an orgasm or two.." i hope youre on the pill because ive gota girlfriend.." or so on ..its most unlikely youll be replacing his girlfriend, so steer clear. you may just hurt your feelings or sully your good reputationfor nothing.
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