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He has a girlfriend, so why is he eyeing other girls?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, *riaz writes:

I met a guy at the gym that i initially developed feelings for. However, after finding out that he had a girlfriend, I've settled my feelings for him, and we've become pretty good friends. I'm pretty popular at the gym, and know pretty much everyone. He's quiet and doesn't talk to many people other than me. He's always mentioning checking out cute girls and have asked me to introduce him to my cute girl friends. I was a little surprised by his attitude, considering he has a girlfriend. He hasn't told me very much about his girlfriend, even though I've asked. I haven't seen any pictures of the two of them together on facebook, nor are they official on facebook either. I know they met online, and they've been together for only a few months. He also said she's planning to go back to school. He's always making comments about her weight. (he told me she got mad at him once because he made a comment about her weight) (He was talking about how maybe he and his girlfriend should switch bodies because he's skinny and she isn't as much.) He's in a relationship, but still acts like he's single. Now, I'm starting to doubt if he even has a girlfriend. Today, after the gym, he was telling me that one of my older friends is really attractive. I told him she is unavailable, and he made a comment that maybe he should wait for them to break up. I'm not really sure what he's doing. As far as I'm concerned, he shouldn't be looking at girls at all, since he already has someone. I think that's messed up (hence why i'll never date him). Why is he doing this?

View related questions: facebook, has a girlfriend, met online

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHe acts like he is single, because that is his mind set. While he may tell girls he has a GF, he still likes the attention he gets from his job as a trainer and partly he has an attitude of "out of sight out of mind" since the GF is not around to see him act single.

It might also be that he is trying to drum up business by being friendly and flirtatious.

And yes, if he is hitting on other girls he is pretty much a crappy BF. And really, not a great "friend" either. Specially if he is using you to introduce him to more girls.. I mean, really?

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (17 April 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntI wouldn't bother why he does what he does, lucky for you he has shown his true colours as a flakey kinda dude. Ignore his silly comments and focus on continuing to be fit and fabulous.

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A female reader, wrathykins United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2016):

wrathykins agony auntIf this guy has a girlfriend, and he's acting this way about other women, I'm so glad you won't ever date him.

Some men are disrespectful, lecherous pigs with no respect for their partners. That is why he's doing it.

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