A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a guy just over 3 months ago, he appeared the man of my dreams... funny, handsome and caring.However, he has recently informed me he has a serious drink problem. It only came to light following a few days of no contact from him and I called him to see if he was ok. He didn't take my call but texted me to tell me and said how deeply sorry he was.I don't know how serious it is as he won't talk to me about it, but it would appear that it isn't everyday, but I have noticed that when he does drink, he can go a couple of days without contacting me.I have fallen for this man, but I really don't know what to do. It is so frustrating when I don't hear from him and I have lost my patience with him a couple of times and told him I don't want anymore to do with him. He said he is complex and because of his drink lets people down. I really don't know what to do, should I cut all ties with him? Will he change? Do I have a future with him? I have fallen for him big time and its breaking my heart.Thanks in advance for your advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): 3 months isnt a long time and already this is happening. Is it normal for you to fall for men big time? If so then you may be kinder to yourself by falling for somebody with more to offer you long term. I dont mean money,I mean normality,respect and a better quality of life. If you havent yet had the burden of an alcoholic,the reality will be a living hell once this has established itself. Nothing is funny or caring in it. Handsome,I dont know? If you are lonely,have few opportunities to meet good men,then this is the wrong way to go about it. Falling big time after 3 months,the man of your dreams will soon be your worse nightmare. Get a grip!! By the way a have had to live through it and have known others who did the same. I dont envy you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Hey there!
Your logic is trying to balance your heart out. This is a good sign as you do need to question things. Alcohol can be a HUGE problem for some and only them can address it and change their ways. I feel you should cut all ties with this guy because his habit will create a lot of drama that you do not need and which could be mentally and also possibly, physically, unhealthy for you to be around. I feel this man in the long run will be very detrimental and adverse to your personal well being. Good luck.
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