A
female
age
36-40,
*arbie0173
writes:Im so confused at the minute!I am nearly eight months pregnant and live with my partner dave. I have been with dave for a year. Previous to me dave was to put it bluntly shagging a girl called leanne but was only doing her for three or four months.He got rid of her, went on holiday come back and boom shes pregnant.He didnt think the baby was his but told her if it was he didnt want it and to abort it, she didnt and had the baby last december the 23rd. She has since been to the csa, dave had a dna and the little lad is his. He pays his maintenance etc but doesnt want anything other than that to do with the baby. Leanne has done nothing but cause trouble for both me and dave plotting against us with daves brothers gf amy. Dave has said leanne never meant anything to him, never loved her and as ive stated previous im now pregnant with my first child to dave and hes looking forward to it i think. Friday just gone however we found out that this leanne is now pregnant again either 4/5 months which i think speaks volumes about her but that aside every now keeps going on about it. Im worried as to what dave thinks as hes never been a talker and also daves mum phoned him earlier as shes heard on the grapevine about leanne being pregnant again and that her now boyfriend is listed on the birth certificate as the little lads dad that dave pays maintenance for so why should he have to pay? Just so confused, dont know if dave loves me/our baby, wants to be with me, what he thinks about her being pregnant again etc and also dont know whether or not to walk away as his twisted brothers gf any abd leanne want leave us alone and are constantly making up lies etc. Please help!!
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female
reader, barbie0173 +, writes (25 September 2008):
barbie0173 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks someoneelse, leanne and amy (daves brothers gf who is such a twisted person along with leanne) just make lies up constantly various things from me getting myself pregnant on purpose (which i didnt!) to their goin to cause as much trouble for me and dave ie split us up, do things to the house/car etc. Dont know why Amy keeps involving herself as she didnt know leanne prior to dave sleeping with her but since dave got with me amy and leanne are the best of pals??
Also amy keeps showing all of mine and daves friends photos of the little lad etc and the latest is shes telling everyone how leannes either 4 or 5 months pregnant again and the boyfriends name is on daves little lads birth certificate instead of dave etc. Why? Just confused at the min and dont understand what kicks they are getting out of all this?Seems quite childish to me!
A
female
reader, barbie0173 +, writes (22 September 2008):
barbie0173 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionexcuse me as already stated previously we didnt know if the baby was daves or not when i got with him as leanne was sleeping with that many different blokes, wasnt till the baby was 7 months old and we got the dna results back that we realised that dave was actually the dad so ur saying i should have not given him a chance just because he could have had a kid on the way with someone else?get a grip, who hasnt got kids these days?
Leanne also wasnt his girlfriend she was his shag buddy and hes also admitted that its not because he liked her it was because shes easy. I know Dave is looking forward to me having his child, things are different with me he loves me, we live together etc but i doubt things sometimes as everybody does!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Correct me if I am wrong but you started seeing Dave when he had unfinished business and had a baby on the way. The baby was born while you were with him and therefore he had alot of unresolved issues when he was with you.
You say 'to put it bluntly (he was)shagging a girl called leanne but was only doing her for three or four months'. This seems to be the case with you as you were only together four months before you got pregnant also. (having been together a year and now being 8 months gone).
You then say 'Dave has said leanne never meant anything to him, never loved her and as ive stated previous im now pregnant with my first child to dave and hes looking forward to it I THINK' which shows that you also have your own doubts. How do you know he loved you when he got you pregnant? You didnt know enough about him to be sleeping with him...unprotected??
This guy seems to be the problem to me and it seems as though he is as much of a slut as she was. Lets turn it aroung instead of saying 'He got rid of her, went on holiday come back and boom shes pregnant'. Look at it from a differnent perspective. He gets rid of his pregnant girlfriend, the baby is born and then boom 2 months later his next girl is pregnant'.
I think firstly you need to concentrate on your unborn child and think about what will be best for it. Secondly you should not be so quick to judge others and thirdly you need to sit down and talk to him about what he wants and how he feels.
You must be very hormonal and your situation does not sound very stable but once you've dealt with these issues you will be alot stonger.
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A
female
reader, barbie0173 +, writes (22 September 2008):
barbie0173 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHold on a minute, I have never told dave about not seeing the little lad! Dave doesnt want to see him and never wanted him thats his choice not mine, if he never wanted him i carnt make him want him now.I feel for the baby but leannes boyfriend is bringing the baby up as his so its not as if he hasnt got a dad. I will explain to my child once old enough the situation!Also i have never said my babys life means more than the other, its not the little lads fault he was born he didnt ask to be. We also do believe the kid will come knocking one day and when he does its up to his dad to explain why he never wanted anything to do with him not me. My own child will not suffer at all and neither will the little lad as hes got a dad and no doubt leanne will explain to him once hes old enough who is real dad is. Your trying to pin all this on me when im a innocent bystander in all of this.
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