A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy whom I have been madly in Love with since I first laid my eyes on him. I just recently found out that he has a baby. I actually had him to bring his baby by one day so that I could use him in a photo shoot. I was trying to see if what I heard was true. I really find myself attracted to him. But he has a baby. He and his baby-momma were never really together. So he is single. I really would like to take our relationship further than friends. Should I take the steps to do this? I really truly am in Love with him, but he has a kid and that's making me really skeptical. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): What are you skeptical about? His relationship with the child's mother? The baby him/her self?
If you love him, than you love everything about him, including that baby. You have a right to wonder about the relationship with the mother, because they share a DEEP bond. If you love him and trust him than believe him when he says there is nothing between him and the mother. it's not uncommon these days for people to have children with someone, then find a deep meaningful relationship with someone else.
If you are a little jealous of the affection he has for his little one it's ok. yes, the reality is that he will always put that baby first, but would you want it any other way? What kind of a man would he be if he didnt? When you enter into a serious relationship with a person who has a child you kinda have to see it as adopting the kid. If you get serious with this guy you WILL fall in love with that baby just as much as you love him, but if the relationship doesn't work out the baby will go with him and it will be like a double whammie. Are you prepared to become an insta-mom?
Take it slow. Let everyone have time to adjust. If you arent serious enough about him to jump into family life, than maybe he isn't for you. The baby is #1 in his life, so you can't have him without the kid. Just enjoy dating him for now and see what time brings.
A
female
reader, joy magembe  +, writes (14 April 2010):
yeah,i think give it abreak because people with kids are un predictable.much as they are not really together,their kid is astrong bond between them and she/he will always be in their future and present lives
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 April 2010):
No matter how much you love him, now he has a child even if something did happen, you will never be the number one priority. Your head is telling you that the whole child thing could lead to trouble. And your head is right. This will lead to trouble. The baby will never be yours, so you won't really be able to get involved as you would like. The baby's mother will no doubt be hard to deal with, as will the child itself as it grows. At this stage, and given that you're still young, it's not a good idea to get involved.
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