A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been with my boyfriend over a year and a half. He's very loving and affectionate and treats me well and we enjoy spending time together!At the very beginning of our relationship there was a lot of physical chemistry. We flirted a lot etc. then about three months in he was off with me for a while. I know he had a couple of emails with his ex around this time and I think I was feeling very insecure/needy. We talked it through but I'm positive that he wasn't into the relationship as I was. I just know. Then about three months after that, he told me he loved me and he thought we should move in together.were really quite happy now, he just got a puppy with me and talks of the future a lot. He only told me last night that he loves me and will never break up with me.I just want to know if it is possible to have doubts at the start of a relationship but then truly love a person. I never doubted, I was blown away by my feelings for him - they unnerved me almost like I can't describe. He is a bit more rational and logical then I am though and doesn't get 'get' the whole crazy love emotion thing. Can he truly love me if he doubted it to begin with? He's not the type to settle in life at all so he wouldn't have settled for me and he sure wouldn't have gotten a puppy if he wasn't happy- he thinks everything through.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 March 2014):
Of course it's possible
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2014): Yeah of course he can. It was only three months in, and that was 15 months ago, so it's dead and buried now.
OP doubts can creep in at any time, otherwise cold feet wouldn't be a thing.
Sometimes people get cold feet right when things start to get serious and my guess for you two that was three months in. You know it can happen before weddings too. OP making a commitment to someone doesn't always happen the same way for people, it can be tougher for some. I've had them plenty of times too, I really do like being single as much as relationships and sometimes I don't want to give that up easily.
Look maybe for you the decision was easy, but surely you've had other major life decisions which freaked you out a little and you had doubts. That's all that happened here, maybe with the ex emailing him he was reminded of the pain that can happen in a relationship, how soul destroying it is to give your heart to someone and have it ripped out, but in the end he decided to give it to you anyway. 15 months later he's still there and everything is going great. So if you ask me you're going through another little insecure phase, because 15 months of an awesome relationship says you have nothing to worry about.
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