A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really dont know what to do about this guy i like! and the situation im in right now! if anyone could help me you'd be such a great help!I had my 18th birthday party on saturday night (but lets start from the begining)Ive been meeting a guy since around october'ish, we've met up about a dozen times (IF THAT !) but i really like him, all we seemed to do was sit in his car and kiss, i really like spendin time with him, and he tells me he likes me, but hes slightly sex obsessed! hes constantly asking me to meet him for sex, (i had a really bad experience with an ex, which has kind of put me off sex till i know its right) so ive obviously said no to him! for all this time, till i know it feels right. he actually begs.. hes like 'please baby, pretty please, youll enjoy it' and i dont like this! although i did want to do it with him, i dont feel ready! and i dont think hes using me, because hes not run off yet... and we've not done it!Anyway.. he came to my birthday party on friday and he gave me 'my birthday kiss' we danced abit, and then he was been boring stood near the bar haha! i was slightly drunk! (okay, i was bladdered!) ha, but i ended up snogging three guys on the dancefloor! apparently he saw two of them and was gutted about it! but it was my birthday! and its not asif were together :/ and it was nothing more than a kiss! so then i felt really bad because i do like him! at the end of the night i was speaking with him and we kissed and he left, so we were fine with each other :) i honestly thought he liked me! but then yesterday i found out that he'd got with one of my best friends (kissing her, and had oral sex with her) and then today i found out that yesterday they met up and had sex together! i know maybe its my fault for been stupid and kissing other people! We arent even on talking terms right now! and its killing me! :( but if he really liked me, would he do this? are we both in the wrong? im so confused! i feel like my stomach has been physically ripped out! :( please someone help me sort this mess out! :(
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best friend, drunk, kissing, oral sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere is a huge difference between a kiss and sex. he kissed someone at the party too, that doesnt bother me, its the fact that my friend knew i liked him, and he knew she was my best friend! yet this still didnt stop them! :/ yes i do think he would still of done it if i hadnt, because since this incident ive found out there is a whole list of girls he has slept with while and since we were meeting up. jealously is the wrong word to use to be fair, just upset.. pretty gutted infact, itd not asif i purposely set out to kiss people in front of him! it was a mistake, but obviously if its my fualt then i shouldnt be upset :) another male mistake ill get over!
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 Say what you will about me, but you never answered my question. Do you think he would have slept with your friend if you didn't kiss 3 other guys that night?
Another question: What are you more mad at? The fact that he slept with another girl, or the fact that he slept with YOUR FRIEND? Want to know what I think? I think you are jealous of your friend. I think you didn't really like this guy THAT much, but now that you're friend slept with him, you are jealous of your friend and you want this boy even more now because she got him.
Do not try to turn this into a "typical male" thing. If this boy was that important to you then you shouldn't have kissed other boys in front of him. YOU may not think there is anything wrong with that, but what you did is unacceptable to the rest of society. What you did shows EVERYBODY that this boy is not more important to you then any of those other boys. It took him sleeping with a friend of yours for you to like him.
This is a very shallow thing to do and makes you NOT a typical female.
He may be a sex obsessed pig, but he still didn't do anything to show he was interested in anybody else until YOU did. If you showed nothing but interest towards him and him only and he still slept with your friend, I'd agree he's a jerk and he shouldn't have done what he done. But part of the blame falls to you. It sounds like he was hurt by you kissing those other guys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontypical male. obviously its okay for him to sleep with one of my best friends, your all the same! nothing but wastes
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 May 2010):
You kissed 4 guys at that party. What right do you have to feel jealous for ANYTHING he does with anybody else?
Do you honestly think he would have done what he did if you didn't do what you did?
If you truly care about this guy then you shouldn't have kissed anybody else besides him. Now you either make this guy the only guy you ever kiss or you tell him he cannot be with anybody else, ever, while you are free to kiss anybody you wish. See how he likes that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not saying that i kissed other guys because he was being boring, but there is a difference between me and a guy kissing at my party, and him meeting one of my best friends for sex the day after!
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (18 May 2010):
You say it's ok for you to get with 3 other guys because it was your birthday and it's not as if you two are "together", right? So why isn't it ok for him to get with another girl? You guys aren't "together", right? What if it was HIS birthday? Would that make it alright for him?
What you are basically saying to all of us is that it is ok for you to be with other guys and do what you want, but it is not ok for him to do the same thing with other women. That is not fair. If you want an open relationship where you can see other guys then you have to let him do the same thing. You opened this door by kissing those other guys first. You don't have to have sex with him, but you CAN commit to him and tell him he is the only guy you want to be with but you can NOT kiss or be with other guys. Even if it's your birthday or even if he is being boring.
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