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He got someone pregnant while we were broken up

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 March 2010)
A female Ireland age 41-50, *yn123 writes:

my ex partner of 8 years and father of my two ids slept wit someone else fpr a few weeks wile we were apart.he told me he wasnt seeing anyone and was still having sex wit me wen he called for kids. he has recently found out she is pregnant. when he told me i was just bout to take him back. now i feel my life has fallen to pieces. he is trying to get me bck evry day for last two months. i love him so much and i know he is not seeing her at the moment. i need some advice please i love him so much. one minute im thinking its ok we can get thru this then the next my head ready to explode and i just cant deal wit it all. can we get thru this or do i let him pay for this huge mistake by not taking hoim bck?

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A female reader, Hard_decision Australia +, writes (23 March 2010):

Quiet-echo is right - its a lot of chaos indeed. Knowing that if he is in his childs life, he is in the life of the childs mother also. How would you feel knowing that everytime he goes to see the child, pick him/her up, etc.. he will be seeing that woman...how could you ever trust him to be around her? When people cheat and they want to make it work with their partner, it is best for the cheater to cut ALL contact with the mistress, however it would not be possible in this case if he wants to do the right thing by his child. That was a major part in why I never took him back - he could swear it was over between them, but the fact that she would still be in his life I didnt want to be apart of that and i didnt want my life to always have the pain of his infidelity thrown in my face everytime I would see the kid. It hurts alot right now.. but wouldnt you rather go through this pain for the next few months or however long it takes you to heal..instead of going through the pain every single day for the rest of your life if you take him back?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (23 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you say that you love him so much , are you willing to carry his extra burdens or baggage on your back.

Will it break your back?

Or you can simply walk away and be free.

There is life even if he is not by your side.

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A female reader, Hard_decision Australia +, writes (23 March 2010):

My bf(now ex) did the same to me. Slept with someone else while we were on a break (the break was for him to sort his life out, we did not talk about seeing other ppl) he got her pregnant and now the kid is here. I never took him back, i wanted to god knows i did..but it was just too hard. Your circumstances are different as you have kids together - but he hurt you in the worst way possible, for your sanity, dont take him back.

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