A
female
age
41-50,
*aphyre
writes:I've known this guy for years and there was always a connection and flirting. the other day he proposed marriage to me and while he was being serious i thought he was joking. he got really mad and now he says he doent even know if he wants to consider a relationship because he thinks i will hurt him again. i want to be with him...how can i make me trust me?
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female
reader, saphyre +, writes (4 July 2007):
saphyre is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your advice and input. I did try talking to him about 2 weeks after the incedence telling him how I fancied him and wanted to start a proper relationship....and thats when he said he is not sure i he can try because of me making a joke out of the proposal....But I really appreciate all of your comments
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Let him get over his bruised ego and then talk to him and tell him how you feel about him.
Like the other aunts have said he is probably just feeling a bit embarrased at the moment, and it's not that he can't trust you, sometimes we say things we don't mean when we are hurting.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (4 July 2007):
If I read your question right, you hadn’t got beyond flirting when he proposed to you? If so then I can understand that you thought he was joking. I think it’s pretty rare for a man to propose before a relationship has even started. What if he had really been joking and you had flung your arms around him with tears of joy and started jabbering wildly about how many bridesmaids you wanted?! He would have run for the hills wouldn’t he? He built up his courage to ask you to marry him and you laughed presumably. Ouch! He must have felt about an inch high. He thinks that you ridiculed him when he was vulnerable, when you didn’t at all because you didn’t know what was going on. Now he is withdrawing from you because his pride is very badly hurt. When you think he is over the initial hurt, have a talk with him about it. Say that you had been hoping for ages that he would ask you out because you really fancy him. Really emphasise how much you fancy him, because what is required now is some serious ego-massage. Hopefully he will be smiling at this point. Then you can say that it was pure astonishment that made you take it the wrong way – you couldn’t believe that he felt so strongly for you. Suggest you start again as a proper couple, because you really do want to take it further. I’m sure if he really feels so strongly for you, he won’t just walk away because of hurt pride. Good luck.
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