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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear AllPlease help me my boyfriend made someone pregnant. The pregnant woman is the ex (so he says) and I have only been dating this guy for two months now and this is very difficult for both of us.I have known him for a while before I dated him. I didnt mind to nag him about his past relationships when we started dating I thought i will find the right time to ask him about his past or his other hanging affairs. It turned out now that the woman, whom he recently broke up with is pregnant and it is now two months. This thing is bringing a lot of strain in the relationship.The guy used to do all the chasing. He is the one who would lead the relationships and initiates all the dates and spending time together. He would call me on a daily basis or even twice a day... Now he has just become withdrawn and I am not used to that. He doesnt call me as often as he used to. Everytime I talk to him he will say he is going through a lot, but he will not say exactly was is in his mind. The only words that come from his mouth is that he is terrified... and he also fears that I am going to dump him.I am struggling now because I feel like i cannot predict the future and I do not know what will happen between us or even with the other woman. I think about breaking up all the time but I cannot find it in myself to give up on this guy. I have waited too long to be with him...He persuaded me until I considered to date... Now I am in love with him, but there is a pregnant woman on the scene. I am in a triangular relationship....Please give me your honest advices.... I am really hurting, jealous and confused... and I want to know if sticking with this guy is a good idea...Help!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): Hello i was in a similar situation.and my bf (after i had been with him for 2moths had told me tht the last girl he slept with was 3months. but to come find out it was 3wks b4 he met me! that recent girl was married and pretty much made him have sex with him.i was like uand hurt jealous and confused. come to find out she wasnt pregnant at all. she did plan on havin an abortion tho.he quit talkin to her and now i dont hafta worry about tht. but remember its not the babies fault, so dnt take ur feelings out on it..just kno tht ur not the only one out there in that situation. good luck!
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (14 December 2006):
 Hi,
As i see it, you are not in a triangular relationship, as you say, he is with you and not this other girl. Are you sure she is pregnant and not just using it to get him back. I would find out for sure before you really worry. If the girl is pregnant,it is up to him to decide what he wants to do. He can still be a good dad and not be with her,the child will be the most important person in all this, if there is one. If you love him like you say, cant you support him. If you are both young, he must be worried sick, and surely would need you to help him through this.
You say you have only been together for a couple of months, and this happened before he was with you (I presume). Give him a chance to get his head together, and then try to sort things out between you .
good luck XX
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A
male
reader, early +, writes (14 December 2006):
its time to be tough, grit your teeth and tell him its the end until he has resolved his other issues. The ex may have had promises made and now there is the little one to consider. This guy needs space to arrange his life and not a comfort blanket which is what you may end up becoming. You dont want to start your relationship under these circumstances. In six months things may be clearer. Its not the easy way, but it may be less pain all round in the long run.
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