A
female
age
36-40,
*ockc
writes:I've been in a relationship with a guy for 2.5 years now. This is my first relationship, but not his. Lately we've been fighting a bit, but nothing spectacular. Everything has been getting resolved within hours of the argument.A couple of days ago I noticed he was being kind of distant. When I was hanging out with him during the day, he seemed kind of out of it, and he just said he was tired. That night I wanted to watch a show with him, but he said he had a lot of school work to do (although he didn't have classes at all that day, so he could have been doing it earlier)... it just sounded like he was avoiding me.Three days ago he came over after a class, hung out at my apartment for a while without really talking, and then dropped the bomb: he had gotten drunk the week earlier and kissed some girl. He said he didn't find her attractive. He didn't know why he did it, and was clearly upset about it. I understood, (I've kissed another guy drunk... but then again so did he), and I tried to let him know it was ok. But he kept going, telling me he was talking to some people and they thought he might just be bored in our relationship, and that he should break up with me. Neither of us had any suggestions on what to do, so he left, saying he'd think about it. I got kind of pissed off, because a day later he still hadn't talked to me.Today I saw him at an event and he started talking to me as if nothing was the matter. He came over to my apartment later and just walked in and sat down and started playing with my cats while I was cooking dinner. I asked him to eat with me, and he accepted. We didn't talk about anything regarding what happened earlier this week... and then he left.I just want to know if this sounds like he wants to be with me still, or if he's trying to stay friends. I honestly don't know how I feel about the situation, whether I want to be with him or let him go. I love him, he's my first and only love so far and I feel lost without him. But the way he has treated me in this has made me feel like maybe I won't be able to love him the same way, like I'll be afraid to love him with my whole heart.
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female
reader, rockc +, writes (15 February 2009):
rockc is verified as being by the original poster of the question so as an update, he broke up with me and less than a week later started dating this girl he kissed (this was back in October). go figure...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): Well you may just have to ask him. From the sounds of it though he might just want to leave it in the past and never speak about it again and move forward with you. You can always ask him where you stand without mentioning what happened, just ask if the two of your are okay or something.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (31 August 2008):
 I think he just wants to forget about the whole episode. He may have fet guilty for having even suggested you to take a break and may feel just the same about you.
But this is just an assumption.
Next time he comes to your house, ask him what you have just told us here. You need to know his intentions and he needs to know what you have been feeling about this. Also, please, add the last note you made... it will make him feel better.
I was once friend with someone that acted like your boyfriend. She would say something mean to some people and the next day she would act normal around them. For this reason, she lost many friends (including me.. she did something horrible to me). Well, my guess was that because of her sheltered life (white, suburban girl in an urban school), she felt that by acting nice the next day, without saying sorry, would make things better. Or probably, that's how it was in her house. It's probably the same way with him.
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