A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 dating a man who is 39. He's been in previous relationships that ended in them having children, his woman taking all his money then saying bye, "I'm leaving you for someone else and I'm taking the kids"I understand his issues, I'm patient with him. But for some reason if people see me and him, or me, him and his daughter out in public and they think that I'm his kid, he won't clear that up. He lets them believe I'm his kid. That irritates me to no end and he has admitted to being embarassed of people thinking I'm his child. On top of that he also refuses to hug me, in private or in public, will not let me cuddle with him, he gets mad that I like touching,and after a year he still won't acknowledge to other people that we are together or to me. Tells me I should be happy that I have him. I give and I give and I give, in every aspect of our relationship and he puts me down. We have to have sex on his terms which are usually I have to go down on him, I get no play time, he dows his thing, rolls over and tells me not to touch him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): He might be in a state of emotional stress which is the gift of his ex. Anyway it is better for you to leave. But please don't make his condition worst by taking everything he has as many women do. Find someone who treat you as a partner. But don't expect to be treated as a princess as you were adviced. Most men do want partners not princess with him.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 SweetSmoochy hit it right smack dab on the money. If he is treating you like this now at the "butterfly" stage of a relationship, think about how he must have treated his wife and children.
The greatest mistake a girl can ever make is to hear a man's tale of woe and cruelty at the hands of some evil woman, and the new girl tries to "make up" for the mistakes of that woman.
I'm not surprised the wife took off and really stuck it to him if this is the way he treats women. You do not have to heal him, nor do you have to make up for anyone else. You do not have to take abuse because of his baggage. His baggage is not your baggage.
Believe it or not, you are in the good position in this situation. You're 24, you have your whole life ahead of you, and I'm guessing there are many guys who would rejoice to hear that you're back in the land of the single.
However, he will have many more women drop him until he becomes old, dried up, and bitter. He is pushing 40. He should treat his woman like a princess. He could have cherished you. Instead, he cherished and nurtured his grudge and his cruelty and callousness has again sabotaged him.
Do not let him mistreat you for one more single second.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (15 March 2011):
 He is trying to get back at women for what his ex did to him. Don't pay for his ex's mistakes. A 24 can look like a 34 year old with make up and choice of dress. You don't have to bother with anything like that. He is only with you so that he can prove to his ex that he's still got things going on.
There's a difference between patient and being walked all over. Being hurt in the past does not give him the license to do the same.
Compared to him, you are still young but you are an adult. Make an adult decision to leave him. Only be with someone who treats you well.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (15 March 2011):
 Ok, you do NOT deserve to be treated like this. Not to be crass, but if he treated his wife like this, I am completely unsurprised that she became unhappy and decided to move on. That is exactly what you should do. Find a man who treats you like a partner, a person, and a friend, NOT some kind of child or posession.
No, you should not "just" be happy you're together, and if anyone is lucky in this situation, it's him for the fact that you're sticking around.
Don't allow yourself to be treated this way. Leave this man as soon as possible and find someone who will treat you right.
Best of Luck
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