A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm living with my boyfrend. I suspect that he's cheating on me. He turns his phone off when we're at home together, or puts it on silent. He gets very secretive with his phone and his laptop, especially when he's checking his email, facebook, etc. When he does turn his phone on, he answers the phone in the next room, and he answers his sms only when i'm not in the room. Is he cheating on me?
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female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (2 May 2008):
It seems as though he is hiding something. If you really want to know what's going on, you are going to have be sneaky. If you come right out and ask him he is going to lie about it and as the other viewers said, he is going to get rid of all evidence. You have to check his computer and phone when he isn't around. I know this may sound like the wrong thing to do, but as well as checking his phone and computer, I would start to play the same game and see how he likes it. When you are on the phone.....go outside or in another room and make him feel the same way you do. One thing I personally learned is that a man will never know the consequences of his actions toward his woman, so we have to make them feel it too in order for them to realize what he is doing to you. You may even find that he is totally innocent and is just a private person and then you can tell him how you feel about his being so private. Good luck and I hope you are able to resolve this.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 He certainly seems to be hiding something. If mine or hubbie's phone bleeps or rings we always tell the other who it is. Or maybe he's just a very private guy. Talk to him and tell him it is confusing you and see if you can resolve this together as you cant have trust when one person isnt sharing x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Hey sweetie....there is always a reason for suspicious behaviour and I would suspect that something he doesn't want you to know about is going on as in most cases when things such as phones and laptops suddenly become 'personal' all of a sudden.
If it is unlikely that he is plannng a suprise for you (because it could be) then on this occassion I would probably check out the computer when he goes to bed (he may have put passwords on it though) My reasoning for this 'snooping' would be because if you confront him, he will rid of all evidence before you can find it (he probably thinks he is doing very well hiding something from you and doesnt realise how obvious it is).
Your other, more moral option is just to confront him with a 'why are you suddenly so protective over your phone and computer?' and then a demand to see them at that point so that he doesnt have chance to delete anything. Both of these options may seem a little over the top, but you need to know whats going on and what the future holds for you and chances are you wont get an honest answer if you just rely on whatever story he cungers up.
Let us know how you get on x
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A
female
reader, Aunt tilly +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Oh sweetie reading your question I have to be honest, I would say he is hiding something, as to whether he,s cheating is a different matter. Have you asked him out right why he so secretive with his phone and laptop? try asking him and see what he says. Let him know that its upsetting you and that its making you feel insecure about your relationship with him. It does,nt however mean he will be totally honest with either, so be prepared for that. I dont know how long you,ve been together, but if its been for some time you can usually sus them out. I,m not suggesting for one moment that you should become deceitful or anything, but I have to say that if it was me I,d be taking a sneaky look at his phone when he,s asleep. Do you know any of his friends well enough to pherhaps ask one of them if there,s something going on that you should know about? maybe thats another avenue you could try. which ever way you do it hun, it may not be the out come you hope for so prepare yourself, anything else is a bonus if your feelings are unfounded. Please take care and hope you get to the bottom of the problem hun.
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