A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend of 4 years forgot to wish me happy birthday despite having texting the whole time. I was giving him the benefit of doubt and waited. When I confronted, he said he's busy rushing some work. I know what all of you would say but really, how hard is it to just slip in a simple happy birthday wish when we are continuously texting from 11 pm to past 12.30am? I asked him if he planned for my birthday celebration and he replied "NO MONEYYYY" That left me lost for words. It turned into an argument over the phone and he sarcastically replied," ya it's my fault. It's never your fault! It's all my fault" how unreasonable can one man be? When he's the one at fault for not wishing me happy birthday and he's going hostile towards me as though I have done something wrong instead. How is it my fault that he forgot my birthday? I am starting to think he's taking me for granted.
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male
reader, massage  +, writes (23 November 2013):
 P.S : Happy Belated Birthday!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): Communicate, communicate, communicate...For your age range, your boyfriend sounds "immature" to respond via an sms "no money" when instead he could have said "Happy Birthday" at the very least!HOWEVER, for some guys, it's not an important occasion.I discovered this to my detriment ;-)You see, I come from a family where your birthday is super special, and from morning to night, everyone that matters wishes you a Happy Birthday, spoils you with either a flower, sms, email, phone call, present, whatever, so, you end up expecting that from the special person in your life.So when I found "the one" and my first birthday rolled around, and he didn't do anything, I thought, oh well, it's "early days" so give us a chance to get to know each other, become special to each other, and then we will see.When the following year he AGAIN did nothing, and nothing on Valentines day, oh boy, that changed everything! It was angry words, tears and eventually - COMMUNICATION. Sure, a guy can SHOW THROUGH ACTIONS he cares instead of words, but when there is no words or actions, you doubt and wonder, does he really care?In my case, when I questioned it, he said he does, and I KNEW he does based on all OTHER actions, but birthdays and Valentines he didn't do anything. Yes, money was an issue, but at least a WISH, in person or via text, AT THE VERY LEAST! So I get your frustration.BUT THEN... halleluia, the AHA moment.I thought about it, and compared his life, to mine. Then the realisation hit me: how I grew up, and how he grew up. I come from a LOVING family, committed parents married for many years, with NORMAL patterns and observations of special occasions.He however, comes from a divorced family, with parents who did not show affection, and a mother who did not bother with special occasions. It was "just another day". When I realised that, it sorted everything for me! We had a good conversation, he knows what is normal and what is not having had other gf before me. I told him what I expect, and I also showed him a NEW WAY of living. So this past year, on Valentines, he gave me such a wonderful huge big present, it covered Valentines, my birthday in October, and everything inbetween :) hahaha I in turn, am showing him how to treat the one you love, on special occasions. On his birthday, I let him know how loved he is, how wonderful he is, and I treat him from morning to night with a card, present, cake, singing, happy times and days, and lots of love. What I had and experienced, I now rub off on him. He DESERVES it because he is a true gem, with the best heart, and I wish he had it his whole life, but I will give it to him going forward. In terms of your bf, communicate with him - tell him how you feel, what him not remembering you makes you feel, what you expect at the very least, and show him when it's his birthday, what you expect, by example, so he will know. He is young, he will learn, and if this is his only "error" it's not that big and he will change. If there are other areas where he is insensitive, immature and turns the tables and does not show he cares, then move on you deserve better. Talk first, see if he changes, if not, you know what to do.Good Luck
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A
male
reader, massage +, writes (10 November 2013):
If he's a paycheck to paycheck kinda guy he might have forget it attentionally. You seem as a princess "like do this to me and do that..."
it's true, it may hurt if somebody forget your birthday but don't expect them to plan things for you. You should plan something for yourself because It's your born day, yo u should celebrate yourself. Others doing things for you is just a bonus; if they do it, be very appreciative and hold them closer to your heart.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 November 2013):
 He IS "taking you from granted".... and you'll be wise to part ways with him....
Really???? He "forgot" your birthday???? ..... and then offered some whimpy excuse (for which YOU gave him a "pass".... silly girl!!!!)....
This guy isn't "in" to you.... and, if you and he are being intimate (are you?), I can tell you EXACTLY what he thinks of you....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 November 2013):
 He was rushing some work, as in a career or is it academic? If he is working I don't see how he can't spare money for just a card and a cake maybe? No money? For 4 years how did he eat? Did he plant in his garden and raise chickens? Where did his money go?
I think he remembers your birthday but pretends he forgot about because he really has no money. He feels if he can't treat you out to dinner, then he is not much of a boyfriend so just screw the birthday. He is upset with himself and is expecting you to dump him. As the birthday girl you don't ask if he planned anything. You either go through your day and if there's a surprise party then great, if there isn't, then you know you are not important in his life. Some people organize their own party. Not everybody is social, I understand, but if he is the only one you want to spend your birthday with then he feels a lot of pressure.
That "NO MONEYYY" text makes him sound like an ass. It's very juvenile and makes you feel worthless. It's true that love can be expressed without money but it is important. If it's a struggle for him to spend money on you then he can't afford a relationship. He is not feeling like the man he should be so he is in no mood of celebrating, even if it's just the words wishing you a happy birthday. You can always say the economy is bad but it's still no excuse. He could have made you a hand crafted gift and promise that things would be better in the future. Instead he chooses to sulk and make you feel bad for wanting things for your birthday.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2013): I do think he sounds pretty insensitive, but it seems like you wanted him to fall into this trap so you could paint him as the bad guy. My boyfriend of 4 years would never forget my birthday - because I wouldn't let him! I'd remind him beforehand and discuss the plans with him long before the day itself. The fact you didn't do that makes me think you were testing him. Some people are just rubbish at remembering dates and it has nothing to do with how they feel about you. If your birthday is important to you then you should make sure he knows that and knows what you expect from him - he's not a mind reader.Having said that, the fact he didn't apologise or offer to do something inexpensive with you suggests that he's just not that bothered about making you happy. If you are the type of person who needs romance and big gestures then he might not be the man for you.
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