A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my boyfriend of 2 years about 8 months into our relationship with him... He found out and decided to forgive me and we are actually now planning on a future marriage but i am still overwhelmed with guilt. I love him more than anything and i feel like i don't deserve him, can someone help??
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cheated on my boyfriend, infidelity Reply to this Question
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male
reader, James3330 +, writes (25 August 2007):
You don't say what your cheating was (going out on a date, having sex, etc.), but I'll assume it to be having sex. Forget marriage, you're too young. Depending on maturity, a good age for a woman to consider marriage is 24-32, for a man 28-36. You don't know enough about life much earlier, let alone marriage. Slow down & give yourself some time. What's your hurry? Also, sample sex with a number of different guys so you know what you like. Some will be good, others duds. You don't want a long term commitment with a dud.
A
male
reader, James3330 +, writes (25 August 2007):
You don't say what your cheating was (going out on a date, having sex, etc.), but I'll assume it to be having sex. Forget marriage, you're too young. Depending on maturity, a good age for a woman to consider marriage is 24-32, for a man 28-36. You don't know enough about life much earlier, let alone marriage. Slow down & give yourself some time. What's your hurry? Also, sample sex with a number of different guys so you know what you like. Some will be good, others duds. You don't want a long term commitment with a dud.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): Your boyfriend forgave you, I think it's time to learn to forgive yourself as well. If you don't forgive yourself, this year during which he gave you another chance will be wasted, dear. And yes, isn't it divine to forgive? Of course you appreciate him and this made you love him even more. If you appreciate him so much trust his judgement dear, he probably thought you are worth this second chance. Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself than forgive others, but now it would equivalate with refusing the present of TIME and trust, and that's unvaluable. You should focus on improving the relationship and be sure time can (or has already) proven to him you've settled for good. All the best.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (25 August 2007):
 You have some growing up to do, I do not suggest getting into a relationship until you understand who you are and what you want. I married at 20 to my girlfriend I met when I was 17. I am divorced after 24 years of not being so happy. I'm not proud of it. Trust your gut, if you have questions now, you will have questions later. Time, you need time. Don't be in a rush, and most of all listen to your emotions, they are telling you something..What are you feeling besides guilt? Are you feeling fear? Frustration? How much love are you feeling? Are you wanting to give yourself unconditionally to the man you love? Are you selfish? Look inside yourself, you know the answer. Decide who you are and what you want, then make a decision of whether or not to include someone else in your life.
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