A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy and I think he likes me too because he does show it. We were once at the park and we were both talking. He stopped and just started staring at me. Our faces were really close and after a few seconds I looked away. He also sometimes flirts with me but I found out he has a girlfriend. I like him alot and I don't know what to do. Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Hi there. Well I recently had the same experience with a young man at my gym. He flirted with me, we obviously had a connection, and then he stopped working there. Come to find out, he had a girlfriend. My thinking is this: will you be able to trust him knowing that he was engaging in those flirting behaviors with you while in a relationship with another person? Research and anecdotal evidence both show that individuals who engage in these type of "cheating" behaviors will exhibit them regardless of who they are with, because it is a character flaw of the "cheater". Until he or she heals that and/or fixes that flaw within self, the hurtful "cheating" behaviors will continue. Honestly, most people never change because there are so many people in the world who are willing to put up with second-best and who actually like to play games. The game here from your end would be: can I be enticing enough to him to drag his attention away from his current relationship and lover? Even if you win, it's a game you will constantly have to play in order to maintain his attention on you and your relationship. Having said all of that, if an innocent opportunity presents itself for you to gain information from him regarding the attraction between the two of you, you may want to listen to what he has to say. Remember though, it is a game and he will implement mental strategies to try and win from his end. Many individuals want their cake and then some ice cream, too. At the end of the day, you have to decide (1) whether you want to play the game; (2) whether this particular person would be worth the investment of time, energy, and attention you put into him; and (3) would it be better to spend that investment of time, energy, and attention focused on your own life such as developing a hobby that will bring you attention (which is what you are seeking from this person) or going through some counseling to figure out why you are enticed by the thought of stealing away another person's significant other.
A
female
reader, danniele0161  +, writes (13 November 2008):
dont get into the slimeballs trap. ignore him, and hope he gets caught out because he will do very soon
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