A
female
age
36-40,
*ina lo
writes:Hi everyone,I only had 2 sexual partners so far, one is my current boyfriend. My first boyfriend had a small penis however i had many orgasims and had sex many times a week. But my new or 2nd boyfriend who has a large penis says i am loose and that he doesn't feel anything. I also don't feel much. He says he just isn't attracted to me because of my body but he said i have a pretty face. =( I am 5'4 and weight 140, i always thought i was average. i don't know what hurts most, him not being attracted to me or discovering that i am "loose". What can I do, I love sex and i miss it alot but i also like my current boyfriend alot. (we tried several positions but he still feels like it is a chore including me being on top most of the time) =( help me please!!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): I agree with most of the responses, any guy who would say those things to you is a total LOSER and he is not worth it. Dont let hime rui your confidence, he probably just feels insecure about himself deep down and thats why he belittles you.
If you are concerned about "being lose" than you can do Kiegel exersizes. Just google it and it will tell you what to do or your OB/GYN can explain it to, many women have to do them, it is very common.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Tell your b/f to flick off!!!! tell him he needs to grow a penis then use it, turn it to your advantage and tell him that you cant feel anything because he has a little dump stick. leave him, a person who loves you would work at helping you not putting you down, if you feel loose then try some pelvic exercises if you feel insecure, but alot of guys take you being extremely wet for being loose, when a women is wet, there is no resistance during penetration therefore they might confuse the two.
Size doesnt really matter its the technique and obviously he has none!!!!!!!! you can do better.
...............................
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 What a bad attitude your boyfriend has!! I have to say, I think he probably feels like he has a small penis, and is passing his insecurity onto you, making you feel that there is something wrong with you!
If your last boyfriend had a small penis, chances are very high you are not loose.
And how does he expect you to enjoy sex with him when I;m sure all you can think about while you are naked in front of him having sex is that he finds your body a turn off!? I would be willing to bet money that he's not a greek god himself!
I bet there's bsolutely nothing wrong with you and you've just got some insecure little jerk who wants to make you feel bad to make himself feel better. You deserve better!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 If he's not attracted to you, then it's only a matter of time before this thing falls apart, I don't care how much you like him. If he's not attracted to your body, he may be losing his erection once he's inside of you, and therefore cannot feel much. You may also be pretty wet, (turned on) and that can cause the sensation to feel loose for both of you. But regardless of all that, this relationship is doomed if there's no physical attraction there. Time for you to end it now and move on to someone who will appreciate you. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (25 September 2007):
 He's a prize dork! First of all, how tight you are has a lot to do with how you react to being with them. Mostly the vagina contracts to hold the penis, however small or large. If he's such an oaf I guess he turns you off, which is not likely to help in the vaginal area.
Dump him fast!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): You have to teach yourself to not fall in love with insensitive and abusive a-holes. As soon as someone starts putting you down-end it. That's his true self and he's ugly.
This way you free up that time to find a loving, well adjusted male who will see the beauty in you and will help you feel supported and loved.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): I think he is cr*p in bed and he is passing the blame onto you. To be quite honest i would tell him to get lost. To say you are too slack is very hurtful. I have had three kids and i know mine is not wonderful but my bloke would never dream of saying such a thing cos he is fantastic lover. Just get rid of this oaf and find someone who will love you for the person that you are.
take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, *plac* +, writes (25 September 2007):
 this guy can be described with one word.
selfish. don't stick around with a guy who hurts you! nobody has the right to insult you, and if anyone does he doesn't deserve your time. find someone who likes you simply for being you, and you'll see how you will start enjoying sex again!
xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): He insults you - why not insult him at the same time as dumping him?
Tell him the reason he can't feel anything is because he's only got a little todger and you'd prefer one much bigger that gets to hit all the right spots. Then say "Cheerio loser - not nice knowing you at all!"
Phil
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 If you feel too loose to him, its almost certainly because he's been masturbating a lot. A guy masturbating with his hand will typically use a lot of pressure, which he gets used to. After that a vagina can feel a bit loose by comparison (any vagina).
I suggest he lays off the wanking for a few weeks... it doesn't take long to re-adjust.
Having said that, it also sounds like he just might not be that into you. If he's saying he doesn't find you attractive that's a problem. You are not going to feel attractive, and the sex is just going to be plain bad.
You should consider carefully whether this relationship has a future.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): There is nothing wrong with you but there soon will be if you stay with him. It sounds like even though he has a big one he does not have much sensitivity. I had a partner with a massive one like a battering ram and I too felt nothing. I had a partner with a small sensitive one and he was great. Medium is best for me. I have been spoken to in the same way as you before and it took me ages to stop believing that I was a cave on legs. I know I am not now thank God. You have no chemistry together but he is being very insensitive and you are being indiscriminatory to stay with a person who does not suit you. Toughen up and stop accepting second best, don't have sex with someone not right for you. No need to treat this one like long term potential or investing too much feeling there. Time to move on. It is obvious that you don't just jump into bed with anyone, but perhaps taking longer to test out the chemistry would help. If you get fireworks with a partner before penetration you will have a good sexual relationship. Find someone extraordinary who can't wait to get their hands on you. The one you have now would have been better left as a friend because you like him, but you are not sexually compatible so there is no relationship potential.
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Honestly, my opinion is to consider what staying in the relationship is worth? any guy that says he's not attracted to your body is an insensitive, complete muppet. you're not "loose", if you's had 20 boyfriends and slept around, then you'd be "loose".
you need to get rid of him before your self esteems hits rock bottom, let him find some other girl to run down and humiliate, don't stay around feeling worthy of this guy like you are doing something wrong when you're not.
find somebody deserving of your love and attention.
best of luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): Sounds like you have found yourself a 'lazy lover' to me. I think you boyfriend is trying to hurt your feelings on purpose, why I don't know, any chance he wants out?
I dont believe for one second that you are loose - to start with the vagina is a muscle and contracts and relaxes like any other muscle, Im not even sure the they can go loose. Secondly its even less likely that you are as he is only your second sexual partner. You shouldnt just let these things go, it could be the beginning of him running you into the ground. I have two children and I know im not loose and I wouldnt let it be said either - infact we struggle at times to get it in .
Dont let him make you do all the work. it really sounds like he just isnt interested. sorry
...............................
|
