A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have this guy friend who is always asking me for advice. He likes this girl who won't give him the time of day. At least not any more. She did for about a minute. Then she without even getting to know him she changed her mind. I have tried to give him advice for months. He listens to what I say and seems to appreciate what I offer. The confusing thing for me is that lately he seems send me mixed signals. Sometimes he flirts with me but at other times he seems distant. All my friends say that no guy would call or answer his phone at work for someone who is jsut a friend. But most of the time our conversations concern this girl he likes or the jerk that I am dating. He has even stated that we should hook them up. (in a joking way of course.) There are times when we are hanging out he complains about his back or neck and I have rubbed his neck and sore back for him. Sometimes I think that it is a conveient excuse for physical touch. He has told me I should leave the jerk. but I think that no one wants a woman with 3 kids (form the same dad) but thats a lot of baggage as guys would say. He is very nice and has no kids of his own and never been married. I have all these mixed emotions about his toughts. He likes her but spends most of his time with me. When his mom was sick in the hospital he called me all the time. When he is having an average day he calls to say hi or see how my day is. WE talk on average 3 times a day at least 30 min each time. not always about her she even seems to come up less often. is this an excuse to spend time with me. does this mean that he likes me and doesnt want to be disrespectful toward my relationship. is he more than a friend.
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female
reader, penta +, writes (25 September 2007):
 First, leave the jerk. No matter how bad he is, it's bad policy to test the waters with someone else when you have a current relationship. (It might be why this guy doesn't pursue you.) And if he really is a jerk then you and your kids better off without him, even if you're alone.
Then ask your friend strait out: what do you think about us dating? And see what he says. Be ready to go either way, and be okay with it.
Good luck.
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