A
female
age
41-50,
*owderedheart
writes:My ex and I have not seen each other in a year now, we live in different countries, but still love each other, as we have both expressed it to each other. I had some issues and I hurt him very much, not by anything external of our relationship, but just by my own selfishness and actions, which broke his heart. He had been very angry with me but for the last 5 months we have been talking via the internet, and last month, he said he had something to say to me. But since then I havent seen him online, and i emailed him recently and he still says he has something to say to me, but he says it in, i feel a very friendly way because he always wishes me "sweet dreams". I don't know what to do, because I feel it can go either way, but would you hold on to saying something bad, or something good for so long? the first time, it was very late at my timezone and he said "it could wait" I don't know why he hasn't said what he has said yet on email, why he needs to wait for me to be online at the same time. and why he can wait so long to say it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 You are right - you can't imagine what it might be, at least you shouldn't try any longer. If you don't want to come straight out and ask, then try saying something like: 'That thing you wanted to discuss, was it important?'
This leads you to womanly follow up. If he says it wasn't important then say, 'Well, then there's no harm in telling me?'
If he says its difficult for him, then suggest he writes it down letter form, and lets you know that way. Perhaps that will work. Whatever you do, don't suffer in silence. If you fear it's bad news it's best to get it over with.
A
female
reader, powderedheart +, writes (22 May 2009):
powderedheart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for answering denizen, i know, i really don't to have my imagination run wild on me, but i can hardly imagine what you could hold on to for a month and not say, when he keeps saying he has much to say. im going crazy.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (22 May 2009):
Just tell him: 'If you have something to say come out and say it now.' Now's the time or never. If it's never, so be it. Don't let your imagination twist you in knots. It may not be what you hope for.
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