A
female
 ,
*rizzylizzy
writes:I met this guy 6 weeks ago while I was on a hen. Im from Ireland hes from London. We totally clicked!! Anyway, long story short we spoke everyday for 4 weeks and then he came to stay with me for a weekend. It was amazing, until the Saturday night I got really drunk, got stupidly jealous. Anyway he went back the next day totally pissed off with me even though I apologized and begged him to forgive me. So, this is 2 weeks later. He told me we were over, then would text and ask how I am. Then at the weekend, he started texting asking how I am and did I meet any one over the weekend? I got narky with him, he ignoired me, I proceeded to pour my heart out to him but he ignored me. Anyway, I thought we were done, then on Wednesday he message to ask how I am, we chatted about normal stuff. He text good night and I text good night!!! And that was it.. Now can someone tell me what the hell is happening.. I don't know if Irish/English people are different but what is he doing?? Does he still like me, is he mind f*~cking me? He seemed like a decent person.. And now the kicker is I am supposed to be going to see him on Thursday for a long weekend.. Do I cancel the flight??? Do I wait and see.. I am tormented over this!!!! Could someone please help.. Possibley and English lad.. or any one but my brain is about to explode thinking about this!!![Mod note: the first question about this situation appears here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/said-some-nasty-things-while-drunk-and-he.html ]
View related questions:
drunk, jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 October 2013):
 So much drama in just 6 weeks, and you are tormented and confused. I would save my money and not go visit him, if you are this conflicted and uncertain. If you manage to stay sober and he decides to come visit again, then maybe you can start something again, but it sounds very unlikely to me.
He lives in London and you live in Ireland, who would move if this thing takes off? Yet you are so confused by this that you are hoping someone will interpret him for you? You are in your mid 30s, you are wise enough to figure this out for yourself. His being English or a Londoner or a transplanted Californian in London wouldn't change the start of this relationship, which was, you hit it off on a hen weekend, the next time you got together you were so violently drunk you had a jealous rage and he broke it off with you.
I agree with the others. He's now just looking at this as a booty call, one in which you make the trek. If he wants to be with you as a proper couple see if he decides to pursue you.
Don't go on the trip. And don't drink when you talk or text with him. If you can't not drink then you have another problem.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 October 2013):
It seems he made it pretty clear that you guys aren't together any more, and nothing he's said has contradicted that.
So, why is he still in touch with you? What does he have to gain from small talk? Use your imagination... Unless you only want sex and a casual relationship, I'd pass on the trip if I was you.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2013):
 CindyCares is spot on.. he's leaving his "i'm gonna get laid" options wide open.
if you go see him, you will have sex and that will be it... and it will begin the on and off merry go round of having a FWB you want to be more than FWB who tells you what you want to hear when you need to hear it to keep you dangling on the hook and in his bed just enough for him...
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2013):
 I am not a lad and not English but I think your guy is speaking a pretty much universal language. The language of casual sex. He wants to get laid ; and if you kindly will bring your wares to his domicile on Thursday, he'll happily partake, - if you will not, he will surely not be devastated and will not sweat it a lot to conquer you back.
You met the guy a few weeks ago, there was a spark of interest , a 4 weeks courtship, then a visit in person , also to see how things could develop, I guess. Unluckily, things did not take off- whether because you caused a scene and he did not like it , or maybe he dislikes jealousy, or you have been too aggressive , or he is just too thin skinned and gets offended too easily etc.etc. Anyway for whatever reason the trial weekend did not go well, and he decided that you are not relationship material. That ,though ,does not mean that he is not physically attracted to you and that you would not make excellent FWB material, if you do not require too much maintenance and are up for the random sexy weekend once in a while . Hence, the erratic communication patterns, typical of who does not want to cut all ties altogether yet , at the same time, does not want to get more involved than strictly necessary.
...............................
|
