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female
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anonymous
writes: Can someone please suggest what I should do next!I have recently split up from my husband due mainly due to our lack of a sex life.I have also recently developed a very close friendship with a business associate.We email each other all day every day and occasionally text as well.He has been a great support to me during my seperation.We have met in the past (when I was still with my husband) and kissed but he has since said that we should just be friends as it was innapropriate.I guess I was harbouring the idea that when I left my husband he might be interested in more...It has only been a week since I left my husband and the other man is telling me that he has a date at the weekend.I jokingly (!) said if he got really bored with it he could always go out with me. I said it jokingly but was hoping that it would provoke a response from him to say if he was interested or not and he has just ignored it and carried on with other conversations!I can't stop thinking about him and can't work out why a single man would email a woman all day every day if he wasn't remotely interestedCan someone please explain to me what is going on in his head???
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (30 October 2006):
 "The date he had was with someone he met at a speed dating night so I'm not sure how this changes things??" Regardless of how he met this other person, what matters now is that he has made another date with her, right?
"I just cannot get my head around why someone single would continue to waste their time contacting a woman they are not interested in!" Well, he might have actually just been looking for a friend in you. There are plenty of people - guys and girls - who have friends of the opposite sex. So it's not exactly wasting his time if he enjoys the friendship, right?
If I were you, I would try to forget about having any kind of romantic relationship with this man. If you can be friends with him, that's great! It sounds like this guy has the potential to be a good friend. If you can't see yourself being friends with him, then maybe you should try to not respond to his emails so often and limit your conversations unless it's work related.
There is also the option that you could talk to him about what's been going through your mind. You would be able to really find out what his motives are for talking to you, but then again it could be cause for a real awkward situation - especially sine he is a coworker.
Honestly, if I were in your position, I would stay friends with this guy and move on dating-wise. At least he valued your feelings enough to tell you he just wanted to be friends and avoided the mind games. He sounds like an okay guy to me.
But whatever you decide, it will be the best decision for you - whether that means to continue the friendship or keep your conversations limited to business. Just remember there is no wrong choice, it just depends on what you're comfortable with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): The date he had was with someone he met at a speed dating night so I'm not sure how this changes things??
It's not so much that he is going out with other people (I expect this as even if he liked me - I have been married for the last few months that we have known each other). HOwever, the main thing that concerns me is why he emails me so often. I just cannot get my head around why someone single would continue to waste their time contacting a woman they are not interested in!...
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (27 October 2006):
Hi Anon,
My thought is that after he stopped having feelings for you - after you two kissed and he said that you two should just be friends - he met this other person. He probably would like to be with her and that's why he told you he has the date. Kind of hinting that he was serious about this girl without making it awkward for either of you.
I'm thinking that he really does like you as a friend, and friends are there to help support us through the bad times. It sounds like this guy is a great friend to you. I know that's not really what you want.
You should figure out if you can still be friends with him and if you can let your feelings go. If you can't, then it seems like it would be better to just talk business with him until you can get over your feelings for him.
You've told him that you would go out with him if his date didn't work. He probably knew that you were partially kidding. If he changes his mind, he probably knows that you would like to go out.
Take care.
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