A
female
age
41-50,
*anicure
writes:Im a bit hurt, I just started seeing a guy about 6 weeks ago, he pursued me, and we met up once or twice a week for the past 6 weeks. Tonight he told me he likes me a lot and it frightens him and he would rather finish with me now than panic about the strength of his feelings further down the line and run away then because it will hurt more. He says he has never had a proper relationship before, and it scares him that he is feeling so strongly about me. I know i cant make him want to be with me, or anything like that, just wondering if this is just some bull**** line to let me down gently. He said he wants to keep in touch because he really likes me and would i be happy to see one another less often, but i was truthful and told him i wouldnt be happy with that because i do really like him and its only natural for me to want to see him more and not less.Is he bull****ting me? we are not young teenagers here i am 35 and hes 40 Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): Hi. If he persued you he must have liked you a lot. So im wondering why, now he has your attention, hes backing off because he likes you so much! The guy isnt making a lot of sense. Could he be in a relationship elsewhere? Could that be a possibility? Have you had sex with him yet? If so, it may be that now the hunt is over he is losing interest. Some people are like that.
If hes really sure he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you, i would walk away and forget him now. Otherwise he will just waste your time by popping in and out of your life when it suits him. He might keep you dangling on a string and ask for sex. He chased you. Now hes not interested in anything but friendship. I feel hes either invloved somewhere or just a player. My advise would be, stop wasting your time with him
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 January 2010):
I think you should move on. He clearly has numerous problems with commitment and such. Be brave and move on. You'll find a guy who does love you and doesnt' have so many issues.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 January 2010):
Sounds like the guy has issues.
However, I will give you the same advice I give anyone in your situation of any age.
Tell him you want him back and that it will be too painful to be in his life as "just friends." Let him find out what he's going to lose.
There is a good chance that after a week of you not replying to his texts etc, he'll realise he's an idiot and beg for you back.
If not then he's out of your life and you can get over him.
As you say, he could well be spinning you a line here, so be strong and cut your losses if he doesn't pull anything spectacular to get you back.
Good Luck!! xx
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