A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's been about two weeks since my boyfriend of 2 years Ryan dropped me like a hot potato due to his supposed stress with school. We've talked but it always seems to turn into him telling me to 'stop being obsessive, to move on find some one here, that he doesn't need a gf right now.' Yet he says he'll come over and act all sweet? He asks me for sexual favors and I keep like giving into them. I know I may be stupid and really pathetic, but I want him back, I want him back so bad..Seeing him on facebook calling some 14 year old girl sexy just makes me want to throw up. She has a boyfriend!! Ugh, I knew most of the responses are gonna tell me to pack up and move on but I cant just do this after the 2 years I spent. This whole break up is like tearing my heart apart, my work is being effected by it! My jobs manager is telling me I come in looking depressed. I don't wanna just stop talking to him..I don't wanna move on he did this same thing last year and he did come back around but I dont know if he will this time, I know I cant force him to change his mind and I am trying to give him space..I'm scared, i'm so scared to lose this relationship, I feel so pathetic I am even trying to read books on how to get him back..
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female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (13 September 2010):
Excellent answer, Kristen. I am going through a similar problem and I agree 100%. If you can't make it, fake it. Pretend you're over and him and there's a much better chance that he'll come crawling back, seeing this sexy, confident woman you've turned into -- all on your own!
But honestly, it would probably better if he didn't come back. Asking for sexual favours? He sounds like a selfish dick to me, and I'm sure you can do better. I know that 2 years feels like a lot of time to invest in a relationship -- I too am experiencing a break up at the moment to my first love after 2 years and I know it's hard, but just surround yourself with friends and try to think of it as a learning curve, a stepping stone. (: Good luck.
A
female
reader, Kristin  +, writes (13 September 2010):
I've been exactly where you are, tried desperately to get my ex to change his mind and get back but trust me the worst thing you can do is tell him that and keep calling him, etc. The harder you push something the further away it goes. The best thing you can do is move on, or atleast pretend that you have. I know you don't want to but it really helps to delete him as a friend on Facebook and if you already have deleted him to then Block him so you don't have to see his posts, etc. It's really hard but it helps a lot. Get rid of anything to do with him like photos, letters, presents, etc. Even if you just lock them away in a box somewhere you're not likely to look at them. Rather than focus on getting him back, focus on yourself. Work out, get a new hairstyle or go shopping for some new clothes. Take up a new hobby, focus on your social life and making new friends or hanging out with single friends. Whatever you do, don't let the breakup affect your work negatively. Use all that energy to foucs on work or study, it will take your mind off him and when you're doing really well at something it gives you confidence and there's nothing more attractive than someone with self-confidence. To be honest, Ryan sounds like an idiot and maybe you need to see that you can actually do better and be with someone who wants you and who puts you first. But remember you're a strong, independent woman and you don't need a guy in your life. Once you realise this you'll find the right guy, whether it's your ex or a new guy, all guys love girls who are confident and a little hard to get.
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