A
female
age
30-35,
*itten1927
writes:I am a female age 18 - 24 and I have absolutely no interest in sex what so ever! For some reason unknown to me, I find it one of the most disgusting and repelling acts known to mankind right underneath killing someone! Anyway, as emotionally jaded as I am, I would like to give love a try, but I'm afraid I can't because of the highly oversexed society we live in. I known sex will be expected of me and I'm not the type of person to suffer through an act I despise this much. Please don't try feeding me the whole "a relationship without sex is just a friendship" line. That's not true, if that was the case I'd be in love with every last one of my friends and I wouldn't need a boyfriend to rouse my romantic feelings, encourage me and share my interpersonal thought! Males who don't need to have sex in relationships are in extremely short supply and i feel like no one will want me. should I just continue with my life as planned, I mean, I don't want to get married and I don't want children. So Should I just stay single and give up because men are shallow, sex driven dogs? I have also never been abused or raped, this is simply a severe case of Sexual Aversion Disorder That I don't want cured. I am not religous or gay and as far as the whole "making love Vs. Having sex" issue goes, there is really no diffrence. I don't really care how you dress it up with or without sappy emotions at the end of the day: you are being penetrated, prodded and thrusted into like a lifeless doll. Being a virgin, I see no joy or plesture in this. I know my own body quite well and my mother could not have been more open about sex when I turned 16, so I'm not sure whats wrong with me. Physical connection(making out) never made me feel closer to my last BF but farther away. He was a good man, too. Senitive, sweet and artistic. But whenever the making out was over I just wanted to push him away. I never wanted to cuddle or anything, just leave him. (sigh), Maybe I'm just strange. Thanks for all respectful answers.
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female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Well I would've thought it was something you had been raised to believe until you said your mother was quite open. I'm not going to tell you that you should definitly seek help and try to get through this because that's your choice but I just feel you should be a little more open minded. As you said, you're a virgin and they do say don't knock something until you've tried it right?! I'm not suggesting you go have sex with someone when you would so clearly be uncomfortable with that but maybe work on changing your mindset of what sex is. Your sentence 'being thrusted into like a lifeless doll' is worrying because when you sleep with someone you love it isn't like that at all. When sex is part of a loving relationship it's a beautiful thing and strengthens most couples, bringing them even closer emotionally.
You are very young to be saying you don't want children. Of course you may feel this way for the rest of your life, not all women feel the desire to be a mother but just at least consider that another 10 or 15 years down the line that may have changed and you might wish you'd gotten help earlier.
You're right that in the society we live in today, relationships surviving without sex are few and far between but I don't think you should give up on love. I really believe there is somebody out there for everyone but you are going to have to be very honest from the start with any man you meet. Good luck :)
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