A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,i've been in a relationship for four months now with a young charming guy,he is 27 n very matured.i get scared sometimes cos of things i have experienced in my past relationships.he is very nice n caring also matured as well,but i find it hard 2 trust guys dis days,he's bought me a few things since we started dating but dats all,he works and i work also,but i think he finds it hard 2 get me things i request for from him,i work n he works to,so he dont give me money,but i feel he should do that sometimes or buy me things.he works with a new telecoms in my country,and i asked him to get a phone for me from his office since communication is quite hard with other networks,but he hasnt done that since i asked,and sincerely speaking i get confused sometimes,i love him and to an extent i think he loves me too.dont know what to do
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): So let me get this straight... the issue you have with him is that he doesn't give you money or other material things? You've been dating for 4 months. He doesn't owe you anything. Relationships aren't supposed to be about what the other person can give you. They're supposed to be about what you can do for eachother (as in feelings, not favours). A boyfriend is not an extra resource to 'get stuff from'.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): I personally bealive that love on its own is not enough. For example. i can be in a relaionship and love my man dearly, but if im struggling financially and i know that hes got some money to spare, it really wouldnt hurt for him to offer to assist financially and i dont see why a woman should request for her man to buy something for them. come on now guys (you expect your woman to look good for you everyday but why dont you provide them with the tools to make themselves look good for you.) I think your man is just being selfish and needs to learn how to treat a woman right.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 As The Beatles sang "Money can't buy you love". So do take note dear. Ciao Dusky xxx.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): If a woman I was dating started asking for money or gifts I would have serious doubts about if she really cared for me or if she were just using me.
Money and objects are not love.
If he did give you money how would that be different from buying your time and attention? If you continue to act like a being who's love can be bought eventually you'll end up in a relationship where your partner treats you as an object he bought. That is a position no person should be in.
If he loves you he will show you his feelings in his own way.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 In your society it is expected that the men should help you financially even if you are working .
If he provides some financial assistance to you ,
you would enjoy a much better life.
That would prove his love for you .
It is not enough to just profess oral love but not doing anything to meet your material needs.
If you want to know how much a man loves you , you only have
to hit them in the pockets where they will feel the pain.
You cannot hit them always or they will flee from you .
Perhaps the phone is too expensive for him and he is unable to accommodate your request.
But if he really loves you , it is a sacrifice which he has to undertake.
Maybe, you could ask him for a contribution to help defray the cost of owning it.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (13 April 2008):
 okay.. so you think he should buy you things?
I've been with my boyfriend four months too. and i hardly even let him buy me lunch.
I think you're being a bit selfish. four months isn't very long. It's his money. you have your own money.
Have you bought him anything?
Why do you require so much for him to buy you things to show he loves you? If you're looking for love then you're goin about it in a way that's too material. You should appreciate physical signs of love, otherwise this isn't really love at all.
...............................
|
