A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I don't know what to do. I was engage with this man for over 15 years, but he does'nt want to marry me. I dont know why. A year back everything changed. Well, about 5 months ago I broke the engagement, and He never tells me how I look, or that he loves me. So in these 5 months, I met a guy and he made me feel so good about myself. My ex found out about it. He said that he will do something to me if he saw us together. Now my ex wants to marry me, but I told him I don't want to get married because it would feel like I pushed him into marry me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): First off I'd suggest you see a lawyer and get an injunction taken out against him to prevent him coming anywhere near you or threatening you.
You'd be silly to marry someone who threatened you or your new fella with violence unless you want to become a victim. Nothing would change if you married him anyway, in fact the situation could get worse.
There's a case for saying 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it', ie. getting married, but 15 years is a very long time to be on the end of a promise that clearly goes against the grain for him. Committing yourself to your ex for the rest of your life sounds like a very bad idea to me. You weren't happy with him before, and you're unlikely to be happy with him in the future.
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