A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am writing to you about this problem I'm having.Me and my husband have a good sex life, but recently his latest suggestion has made me feel sick.I wore sexy lingerie in bed one night, but got no response sexually from him.I asked him why he didn't want sex with me and he old me he wants to give up having sex until he's 26 stone, or his ideal weight, 33 stone. He said we'll have a far better and far more satisfying sex life when he's that weight.I tried telling him he was wrong, but he just laughed it off at me and said "Don't worry, sex is better for us blokes when we're 26 stone!"What can I do or say to convince him that he's wrong?? anyone got any info I can tell him??He won't relent, insists that he has to be 26 stone and nothing gets him having sex, not even when I wear sexy lingerie in bed.Nothing I've said worked so far, I need shock tactics to try and convince him he's wrong... please help!ta, Patricia
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 There is a very good article here , link given by Mandy. It would come as a shock to many men who have not realized the importance of pleasuring their wives.
Tell him to read this article. LOL!
"Pleasure your Woman and Enjoy Peace!"
"When women are deprived of such activities, monstrous behavior or drug addition may emerge. Here is the case of a woman who described the way she felt when deprived of pleasure, and how she acted prior to the time of her treatment. "I can see that my aggressive behavior and temper grew in direct contrast to the lowering of the sex drive. By the time my sex life disappeared, my temper was not only violent, but murderous."
http://www.outcrybookreview.com/Serotonin.htm
Or my take here;-
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2007/11/01/why-sex-is-better-than-running/
http://www.pinksuzie.com/2007/09/09/not-having-enough-sex/
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Hi,
I have read your post over and over, and I'm not sure that I get it. Are you saying that he wants to lose weight or gain weight. That kind of weight on anyone is really dangerous, and he could die. I'm sure that sort of size is, on the verge of being obese isn't it.
If he is bigger than 33 stone, he needs every encouragement, to lose weight. He will have problems breathing or doing any excercise, let alone having sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): He is not well or perhaps it is a fetish. Being that weight and having sex could kill him. You must have some idea of where rhis is coming from and when you sex life started to decline? He is likely to have problems getting an erection at that weight because the small veins running to his penis will be some of the first to clog. Often in overweight men, this is the first sign of serious heart trouble. I do know about this as my sex life has been affected by my partner's weight and he is "only" 18 stone. I would consider leaving him if that shock would work. I think I would only stay around if he said he would see a sex therapist with me. There is a national association and you will be able to find a reputable person near you. They are therapists who specialise in helping people overcome sexual issues, nothing dodgy. I know one, her name is Victoria Lehman and you can find her website if you want to find out more about the profession.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): Have you told him that sex could be one of his forms of exercise? Tell him you are doing him a favour by assisting him to get to his target weight. Sex burns roughly 4-5 calories per minute, the average calories burnt in one session is between 200-300 an hr but vigorous sex can burn as many as 500 caleries an hour.
Is he actively trying to lose weight or does he say he wont have sex till he is that weight and yet has no intention of losing any? - then you need to feel concerned.
The worst thing you could do is start feeling insecure yourself, its not you, its his issue. You can help him by either reducing what he eats or changing the content of his diet. It would be interesting to see how long he can go without sex, Im sure he will come round sooner rather than later, it seems he has become very self aware and is only trying to make himself happier and you more satisfied. All you can to is reassure him and wait. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): I had that exact same problen. when my bf was in the sower i just went in with him. i didnt stop or give up till i got what i wanted. i hope you get him to change his mind.
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