A
female
age
41-50,
*lh1975
writes:I have been in a committed relationship for five years. Of the five years, we have lived together for four. I want to get married. He claims that he also wants to get married but will not be told what, when, and how to do it by other people. When confronted about an engagement he gets angry because "he is supposed" to buy me an engagment ring. I am in my mid 30's and would like to have a child in the near future. What should I do here? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (4 August 2009):
 Have the big talk. Tell him what you want out of life: that you want to be married and have a child with him. Tell him that you love him and you want to keep what you have together going. Then ask him, what is it about the engagement ring that angers him? Do you really need one? (That question is for you.) Talk about what marriage means to both of you and see if you can come to a compromise. Maybe you'd both be happy with a simple courthouse wedding without an engagement.
If he absolutely refuses to budge on it and/or can't discuss this without getting angry, you should think about how long you can afford to wait on this guy, and then not waste one more second than that.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 August 2009):
Tell him that you have waited 5 years to get married to him and start a family and you don't think it's ever going to happen.
Since your biological clock starts ticking after 30 then tell him you can't afford for him to waste time waiting for when HE feels is the moment.
Tell him you need to find a man who is ready for marriage since he is clearly not interested. If he protests then tell him you've heard it before and you've waited but you can't wait for ever. Then walk out.
He will come after you with a ring within a week. Or if he doesn't then you are free to find a guy who is less obsessed with his own ego and will happily buy you the ring you are worth.
Don't mess about if you want kids. Take ACTION!
Good Luck!! xx
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