A
female
age
36-40,
*selu08
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We are both in our late 20's. One of my problems is that he wants to have sex all of the time but is not affectionate. His complaint is that our sex life has become boring. He wants to have sex all over the house. He has a roommate that walks in and out of the house, and I have explained to my boyfriend that I don't feel comfortable having sex in the living room when his roommate can possibly walk in at any moment. I think our sex life has become boring because he isn't loving. He doesn't love on me before he starts and once he's finished he rolls over and goes to sleep. I understand "men are tired after sex." Whatever. My boyfriend before him held me and talked to me after sex leaving no doubt in my mind that I wasn't just a piece of meat to him. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, but I don't know if I can live without emotional fulfillment for the rest of my life. Has anyone dealt with this in a relationship?
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 February 2010):
 lol whateva
A
female
reader, mselu08 +, writes (21 February 2010):
mselu08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all of you for the advice. It was very helpful and I will definitely talk to him as soon as the opportunity presents itself. To RainorFire: I left my last boyfriend for various reasons including lack of ambition, which is more important to me than a good sex life. And getting caught having sex on the kitchen table doesn't, in any sense, sound exciting to me because I have class and refuse to be the ass of his friends' jokes. I have a reputation to uphold and will not sacrifice it so some man can get a cheap thrill.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 February 2010):
You need to teach him and tell him what you want from him. And if nothing changes, you'll know he doesn't care.
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (20 February 2010):
 I am guessing that he watches porn? Nothing could be further from real life!
You know and he needs to be educated to the fact that sex starts in the mind long before the bedroom.
He needs to excite you in various ways, showing you attention and affection so that you are more than ready when you get under the duvet - then bring you to orgasm a few times before he even thinks about penetration.
But as I said, you know this already. However, if you can teach him too, he will be rewarded with longer-lasting sex, more fun for both of you and a fantastic orgasm for him.
Then he is to stay awake and hug and caress you, and he will realise that instead of just rolling over, things will start again for round 2 - or 3?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 You need to educate and teach him about romantic love and your emotional needs.Every woman is different and unique .He cannot read your mind.
Some men are ignorant about woman's emotional needs and think that sex is just the sexual intercourse alone.
That's the way they are and they are not aware of the differences.It could be either they are ignorant or they are not aware of it.
If he is not inclined or is difficult , buy some books on that subject, go through them together or leave it around the house.He would get the message.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): I think this is good grounds for a compromise. Tell him you need for him to be more loving like he used to be. Explain how important it is for you to be held afterward. And tell him you are willing to do things for him, like having sex where ever he wants but he needs to do things for you as well.Sometimes guys get comfortable In a relationship and forget how important it is for a girl to be held. Talked to. Etc...Show him. And if he doesn't change you might consider looking for a man that does if that's what you need.It is in my nature to be sweet but sometimes I forget. But I do it because I feel it. Maybe it isn't in his nature? Maybe he just forgot. Only one way to know
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 February 2010):
lol so why did you leave your last bf, I find the only completly satisfied women i kno are the ones dedicated solely to God, sadly us mortal men all fall short of the glory.
You could talk to him about this but the lovey dovey stuuf doesnt seem to be in this guys nature maybe its time you start thinking of nesting elsewhere.
As for painting the house red i think its worth a shot its 2010 so what if the room mate walks in the fear of the whole thing could add some exictment to it.
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