A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We're going to celebrate our 6 months anniversary (dating) - no I love you's have been said and I'm wondering is it worth staying. Just not sure he'll ever say it and I need to hear it. I know ultimatums don't work with guys but I'm thinking I'm starting to burn time here. Gentlemen - if you knew your GF of 6 months was thinking of breaking up with you because you don't talk about your feelings/relationship/future/love - what would you do? Just say "see ya" or would you change your behavior?Ladies - have you been in this situation before - what did you do? What was the outcome?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 June 2011):
I think it depends on how he treats you otherwise, in terms of actions. Allow me to explain:
"Come with me and I will show you the world" - the words my father once spoke to my mother. He has since entirely failed at every level as a man, father, partner, provider etc etc. Yet my mother stuck with him because of those stupid words.
"I forsake all others" - the words spoken by my girlfriend's ex husband at the altar a few years before he cheated on her. Thankfully she left him afterwards, but not before he'd broken her heart.
"I swear on the life of my children that I'd never cheat" - spoken by a man who cheated with his wife's best friend. She managed to leave too.
"I love you" - spoken by my old boss who cheated on his wife twice, and gave her an STD that left her infertile. She's still with him and believes every word he says.
The point is that ultimately, a man's words mean precisely NOTHING without the actions to back it up. You say you're burning to hear those words in 6 months - well I say that you need to stop worrying about those words, and instead focus on his actions. If he treats you well, spoils you here and there, shows you that he cares, is attentive, caring, understanding - then you're insane for thinking about leaving him and I'd say "see ya" to you if you said you were.
If he treats you badly, then leave him anyway.
Sometimes I worry about how women are brought up in this world - they'll believe words more than actions, and then wind up hurt and wondering why it went all wrong.
THINK! - How does he treat you!?
A
female
reader, B123  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Been there - I would say do nothing - the less you do the better. Back off from him, give it space and let him chase you down. I know its hard for you right now but its quite possible you are doing too much right now...I am sure as hell he prob knows that you are craving to hear those words and I understand you don't want to waste your time and all... sadly we can't put time constraints on people to tell us they love you back...so why bother hurting yourself like this....why give yourself this expectation...when they feel it, they usually say but if not watch his actions more than his words as a go-around. I think the reason you haven't heard it yet is quite simply he is not that sure of you yet to be able to say it. You are now getting fed up as you feel he is neglecting to give you the love you deserve. You can't stay with someone who doesn't love you or at the v least give you that affirmation that is why you are now considering a break-up from him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder..so why not get a bit busy and be unavailable for a while and see if that makes a difference and don't pick his calls so readily and all the time...leave a little mystery in there and make him work to see you or go out with you....you might even find if you back off more - he will come onto you much more in the way that you are actually desiring right now... He needs a challenge and he needs to hunt you down.. see if that works and I sincerely wish you the best :) so why don't you focus on YOU for a change and do stuff that you have neglected to do cos your relationship has been taking over a bit too much of your time. Its causing you to obsess about this. Why don't you get a distraction to put your time and energy into and that way it won't bother you so much if he hasn't said those words yet...you might see by doing this, they may come even quicker than you think!!! providing you do little :) I wish you the best and hope it works out. Hope what I have said has helped.
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