A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am at my wits end with my husband who seems incapabable of standing up for me when it really counts. Only today we were taking our dog for a walk and it was set on by a pack of dogs including two Rottweilers who were off their leads and the owners were not at all in control. I was frantic but my husband blamed me and said I made more of it than was necessary (amongst a few other insults). I was shaking from worry and fright but he considers it more important to have a go at me for my 'reaction' than to speak sternly to the owners. I seem to have to fight all the battles single handedly. The trouble is I can list a whole long line of incidents like this one - with the same theme of me ending up being made to feel bad despite being in a vulnerable situation. I need a strong man to support me - am I asking too much??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pink_nurse +, writes (24 June 2007):
Hey hun,i dont think your asking too much no. sometimes men can be more worried about what people think than us women can!thats why in situations like this one, instead of focusing all their attention on your well being and feelings, they are more concered with you showing them up in front of strangers, who they proberly wont ever meet again anyway.I think you should try and explain to your hubby how you felt at the time and try and hint about what reaction would have been better.hopefully,he'll be understanding and take your feelings into consideration. However, if hes anything like my boyfriend he'll turn it around that start self pitying!just make sure you stay calm and stand your ground.don't apologise for telling him how you feel.hope this helps a little x
A
male
reader, willem  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 believe me if the dogs act in any way to harm u or the owners acted in a way 2to insult u ,ur man would have acted 2to protect u . my ex was the same when ever she stood up for something she exspected me to become as excited over the issue as she is ,but it did not work like that always ......... u see "you r woman , we r men its like a + and a - 90% of the time we dont think on the same wave so its a bit hard to act with the same action ,but over time we learn u do became more alike and again with same couples this goes quicker than others ,depends on boths attitude .......... i think your man didnt even sum the situation up nearly in the line as u did ,he might have seen that the people who's dogs it was did get a fright and its useless to confront them .try this for a short while - every time u feel he should've said something or stand u by ,dont say anything and at night lay in bed and tell him what happend ,ask him what he thought of it and tell him how u felt and what u would like him to have done or said...... this will help to understand each other more and he'll will do the same later on .i hope ur problem fades away in the near future ....tata
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