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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My bf has a house he pays a mortgage for out of state that no one lives in. He got it in the divorce but can't sell it due to the ecomony. He pays about 1300, no heat (in the south) and about $10 a month for elect. He lives with me and I pay about 1300, plus food, plus heat/oil, plus all utils and have a son to support. He doesn't think he should have to pay 1/2 the mortgage beause it's 'my' house and he already pays a mortgage. he hasn't kicked in except for things needed around the house. He use to pay for that house when he was married plus the phone, cell and heat for his primary home but wont' do it for me. I dont' think its fair but can't seem to get him to understnd the logic around this. His parents are offereing him one of their homes and he said if we move there then I can just cover the cost of the food and utilities??? he doesn't pay mine so why does he think I should pay his if I live with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): exactly right, he doesnt do it for you so you shouldn't do it for him. Simply put your foot down and tell him he does not live with you for free and he is to pay an equal share in bills and some sort of rent. he's not married to you and if you don't do anyting you are allowing it to happen. His morgage on his house has nothing to do with you but if he is living with you, he can pay some sort of rent/lodging!!!! Dont let him manipulate you!
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