A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm just wondering if most men seem to have their daily shower in the morning? The problem I have is that my husband walks to work for 1/2 hr (and it is quite hot where we are) works for the day (a desk job), then at bedtime he takes his work clothes off and goes straight to bed without a shower. when we were first going out he used to shower before bed so we could snuggle up, but now we don't because he feels grimy to me and I am always clean with nice body lotion for bed! And he sleeps naked so I can't stand the idea of rubbing up against someone's day of sweaty smell and body oils. Also, when I wash my white linen sheets his side is always a bit yellowed and hard to clean! I know this is very picky, but I really miss having someone (clean) to cuddle up to at night. He saves his shower for the morning and goes to his workmates clean and fresh! Do all men do this, and am I just too particular? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Yeah, this is something you just gotta break to him. If I was smelly and my wife held out on telling me, I'd feel like crap.
Fortunately, she's pretty forthcoming with all that, and me with her, so it works out :)
Just tell him. Especially if he gets more snuggles :)
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 My husband takes 2, which I wish he would make it one to cut down on the water bill.
Anyways, I too like to wash all the grime from the day before bed. Now, I can understand where he's too tired from the work day to take a shower and ready to hit the sack. I'd invite him into the shower with you in the evening, tell him you need help washing your hair, and a little bribery shower sex couldn't hurt. Also, suggest nicely one evening that he should probably take a shower after to work to help him relax and cool off.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I am a naturally sweaty person and my partner isn't but walks about an hour to work then an hour back.
We don't have showers in the evening, only in the morning, unless I've gone to the gym. It seems silly to me to go to bed all scrubbed and clean when you sweat a lot at night. All our sheets are dark colours so its less of a worry about cleaning. I specifically don't buy light coloured sheets because i know they will just have to be thrown out after a week. I know it may sound horrible but bodily fluids do get everywhere in bed! Especially with irregular periods and sex.
If it bothers you to the extent that you don't want to cuddle, tell him. The only other thing I can think of is "accidently" dropping something on him every evening so he has to have a shower :-P
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): I don't think you're being picky at all. I have a thing about hygiene aswell, i can't stand it if i haven't washed my hair for more then a day and can't bear the thought of being physically intimate with somebody who isn't clean.
Just casually bring it up, i'm sure he will be fine about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): I agree with Dirtball. Just a gentle word in his ear and hopefully he will go back to showering after work x good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Hi, I'm the original poster and forgot to say that I have asked him (sensitively) on several occasions to PLEASE have a shower, and that I find it a bit yuk that he won't. He still refuses, and says that he doesn't want to have to have two showers every day. I don't think I'm asking too much, but he gets annoyed if I keep asking him about it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Washing in the moring is very normal, take it up with him, there's not much we can do about it.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I know I do, but then again I'm not walking in the heat to and from work. The joys of air conditioning in my car...
You should talk to him about this. Tell him you miss cuddling with him after he got clean at night. Motivate him to do it with some night time nookie.
In any relationship, the more comfortable we get, the more lazy we get about such things. Sometimes a gentle reminder is all it takes. Address it before it gets worse for you though.
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