A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiancee recently started a new job and he's been working 7 days a week. He is always (understandably) tired and is too tired for sex. I've tried buying porn, lingerie, and even bought a strip pole to spice things up but we use them once and he never wants it again. This morning I woke up to find him masturbating to porn and it hurt my feelings. I don't mind masturbation but I've been going without for weeks because I know how tired he is. Why doesn't he want me?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think he plans on working 7 days a week constantly because it is taking a toll on him. Although I knew he was masterbating before, it was during a time I went back to school and felt- hey I wasn't home, can I really blame him? better that then screwing the neighbor? =)
I appreciate all your answers and I thank you for responding...it's nice to get a guys opinion because I don't want to make him feel bad or uncomfortable.
I thought about maybe jumping up and asking him if I could participate but I don't want to embarrass him. I'm hurt because I'm in the next room wanting him and I wish he would wake me up. He used to only do this when I wasn't home. I think it's because he works so much and I think it's his "treat before work", I just wish I could be involved more.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): You should ask yourself what is actually bothering you more. Is it that you miss the sex with your husband or that you miss him WANTING to have sex with you? Because I can assure you he's picked up on which is more important. Sex is often the ONLY thing a guy is sensitive about. Women don't understand that men focus more on the physical than the emotional. You need to make your man think that he pleasures you physically (even if your acting). If you're in a long relationship & somehow you've made him feel inadequate in bed then no matter how sexy you make yourself look he's just gonna be scared. And he's gonna feel more comfortable with porn. Porn will not talk back nor make him feel like less of a man. Convince him (even if you're acting)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Eh, get him to work less?
You are not married yet so I hope you bought those items with your own money? Else you would have an excellent example of irony. You buy erotic items, he is to tired from working hard to pay for them to get excited.
If he is normally a considerate lover, as in wants to make sure you reach orgasm as well, there might a case that he just doesn't have the energy for full sex. Sorry to say it, but with some women it can be a lot of work. If he feels he got to go the whole nine yards everytime he is with you, he might just skip it an masturbate instead, simpler, quicker.
Make it clear that he doesn't ALWAYS have to be the one doing all the work. Lower the pressure on him to perform.
But mostly, try to figure out why he needs to work 7 days a week, that ain't healthy or even legal in civilized countries.
On the other hand, few men would masturbate to porn no matter how tired with a woman next to them. Geez, at least ask the girl for a blowjob while watching porn, sure that will probably be an incredibly asshole thing to do, but that is what most men would do.
Hope he is too tired, but be prepared to accept that he is tired of you. Better find it out now, before you are married.
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A
female
reader, mandabaaby  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Simple thing to do. Ask him, and if you start crying he will know that he means more to you than anything. And maybe he doesnt think of it that way. I think that when he is expecting nothing Jump him and starting giving him a blow job. Men never turn B/J's away, he will then be to arroused to not let you go..... Give it a try and give me a follow up!!
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