A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well basically I was with my boyfriend a year and 3 months.. It was great we were very much in love and still are. Just under 2 weeks ago he finished it no reson, he just said this was what he wants, he said he still loves me and all but still no real reason. we are still mates but not the way we were. Even though he broke my heart I love him more with all the pieces, every time I look at him I get that lump in my throat along with tears. I tried and tried to sort things out he just won't talk about it and I don't know what to do...I want everything back to normal... Now he is best mates with this girl and they are very close but she keeps trying to make me jealous with him and it's hurting, he's aware of this but thinks I'm been paranoid and is telling me to move on... I can't move on though... Has anyone got any ideas to get this girl to stop annoying me or is there a way to get him back or something? I really need help, I don't want it to end this way...I know for definite it is love and not an infatuation. plz help me!!!:(:(:(:(wb soon... broken hearted ...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): I am very sorry that you are going through this, I know it hurts, but your boyfriend is not being completely honest wtih you here....I think it is obvious that he and this other girl have begun to date, he gave you no reason for your break up, but my money is on this, he wants to date her, and perhaps other women as well.
I would forget about the two of them. This is about him really, not you....there is no logical reason for an emotional decision, so trying to figure out the real truth is a bit wasted energy that you could spend on you.
Go ahead and cry, grieve the loss of the relationship, but don't let yourself do this for more than a couple of days. Then rally your support, call friends you have let drop by the wayside, call your family and let them keep you busy and give you some emotional support. You are obviously a great girl and a great girlfriend, you had a realtionship for over a year, which is hard to do for anyone!
Your boyfriend saying he still loves you is his way of not appearing to be the bad guy and he is letting you down easy. He may in fact still have loving feelings for you, but true love is not about feelings. It is a conscious decision to be worthy of love yourself, to put someone else ahead of yourself, love is action, commitment, not those butterfly feelings that everyone gets when they are infatuated.....so many people do not understand this about love and they go from one shallow realtionship to the next because that is all they are capable of.
You need to start dating other guys, stop having any contact at all, at least no texts, emails, phone calls, etc and let your ex miss you, then you can rub it in his face that you are going on a date, even let him see you with someone else....People sadly want what they cannot have....at least the more immature ones. Don't let this guy mess with your head, which is what he is doing....by telling you he still loves you, it keeps the door open for him to keep coming back if he doesn't find someone else better, or this doesn't work out with this girl. Don't let him treat you this way, if you take him back without him having to work at it, then he will have learned that he can continue to do this with you and string you along indefinatley, this is crushing to your spirit, don't allow him back in so easily, be strong and firm that you will not allow him to just dump you like that "for no reason".
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