A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay well my boyfriend of almost 7 years got a very good job offer sprung on him last week which gave him 2 days to get his stuff packed and move 1200 miles away. before he went we talked about it and decided that i would go down a month after so he would have a chance to set everything up and he also told me that there was no way that he wouldnt go if i wasnt going anyway and if i did go then we would start a new fresh life down there and get married which i was very excited about. it seemed as though our relationship was at an all time high, so it came time for him to leave and it was very hard, not only was it him going but he was also taking our dog with him as well so it was a very emotional experience for both of us and he even cried.Now that it has been a week since he's left i feel like every time i call him its like he is annoyed, every time i talk about coming down there its like he is changing the subject and he always seems to be busy. yesterday he forgot to call me all together and im just left here thinking like i cant go 5 min without thinking about how much i miss him but he can go a whole day and forget to call me. i am having second thoughts about this move, i would be leaving my job, my family, and my friends to be with him.We never really had problems in our relationship before this. when i ask him what the problem is he just says im going to see you at the end of the month anyway so whats the big deal. i just dont feel like he misses me at all and he really doesnt understand why i feel like this it would probably just help if he just came out and said it at least once that he misses me instead of me having to ask him im just torn right now i dont wanna leave my whole life to go somewhere and have it be wrong what do i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (10 August 2010):
 I think you should just back off and relax, stop calling him, Let him miss you.
Moving house is right up there with divorce, death, etc, as one of the most stressful things a person has to go through even if it is a choice and even if it is something positive, it is really easy to just lose it with your tempers flaring.
Understand this isn't all about you and give him some space otherwise I am afraid you are just pushing him away. The last thing he needs to worry with right now is an insecure, unhappy, clingy girlfriend.
I understand you have a right to your feelings, but instead of burdening him with them and asking him to make you feel better, calm yourself by taking a hot bath, or go for a walk or better yet call a friend. You are going to need to find some support for yourself, he can't be responsible for your entire happiness especially right now.
I think if you follow my advice things will work out. He seems to want you to follow, so play your cards right and do that if you think you are ready.
If not you will have to accept that timing is not in your favor and the relationship will end. You are fine if that does happen, you aren't going to die...and neither is he.
Give it some time and stop calling him for awhile...until he asks you to. Give him time to get settled, he has a million things to do and a million things to figure out and his job is his main focus right now as it has to be, not you.
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