A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My current b/f went through a bad breakup five years ago with a woman. She took him to the cleaners financially and emotionally and it him more than 2 years to get his life back in order. When we started seeing each other, we took it slow, but then he asked me to move in with him a year later, and I thought it was time for him to get rid of all her old pictures, and other things she had left behind at his house. I didn't think it was healthy to have those constant reminders around the house, when he claims he wants to move on. We've been seeing each other now for 2 years. Recently however, he went to visit his sister in another city. When he came home, he said she had given him some pictures from his parents anniversary party that took place five years ago. Since his old g/f attended this anniversary party, I suspected, there were pictures of her there as well, but I didn't ask. A couple of months later, when he asked me to go into his computer and download some of his files for a work project he was doing, I found a file labelled with this woman's name. Of course, no red-blooded woman would've been able to resist the urge to look at them, but when I viewed the file, it wasn't pictures of his parent's anniverary party, it was about a dozen pictures of him and Susan together. When I confessed to seeing the pictures, and let him know how upset I was, my b/f agreed to get rid of them. But the fact that he felt the need to hang on to them, after what she put him through, and after he's told me he loves only me, why would he need to do that? I don't understand this at all and I am still very hurt by what he did. I feel like he's still obsessed with her and hasn't gotten over her at all. What do you think it means?
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female
reader, elsie +, writes (16 April 2007):
 i agree with the last answer theres a lot worse things to discover out there.he readily let you look into his computer and if it had been that big a secret to him i doubt hed have done that atall.the general vibe from your question is that this man loves you very much and wants to please you.i really dont think that you should feel threatened by this.put nice pictures of him and you around the house and do exactly what he suggested get rid of the others.
A
female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS +, writes (12 April 2007):
 my ex bf of three years still now has pictures of his ex, and his ex ex, and his ex ex ex. hes got em all way back to when he got his first girlfriend and i asked him about this and he just said they were memories. i didnt delve further into it but later found that they were something hed like to keep hold of because there just a little bit of happiness that hes had in his lie, and maybe thats what your bf is doing. maybe he was real happy with his ex and hed like to be reminded of how happy he was even though she hurt him very bad it wud feel like it wasnt a waste after all. if hes willing to get rid of them then he definatly isnt still hooked on her, he may still be confused as to why from pictures that show how happy they were she cud do such terrible things. its hard to explain but it sounds as if ur bf is still healing and wanting answers as to why she wud do such a thing to him. get rid of the pictures and put lots of pictures of the both of you around the house to remind him of the happiness he has now. best thing you can do in this situation is be understandable.
hope this helps x
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