A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a loving committed relationship with my boyfriend for over four years but the intimacy and sex has been insufficient (for me) for the past two plus years. We have talked about it a number of times but eventually after all is said and done not much changes. I have struggled for over two years now and I don't know if I can cope much longer. I am finding it increasingly difficult and depressing. I don't want to hurt him or sound like a bastard but how do I say I need more and if he can't handle that then we should break up? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ajbutterfly  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I am sorry for your fustions. I do know exactly how you feel. I am in the same situation and need help as well. I have been in my relationship for 4 1/2 years, but we do not live together. He is my Best Friend, there is nothing else I would change about him. And yes we all know sex isn't everything in a relationship, but is hard to be unsatisfied and unfufilled sexaly. Iam sorry that this is not an answer to your question, but I just wanted you to know that someone else out here knows what you mean and how you feel. It can be lonly, fustrating, and an unpleaseing feeling. Yet a feeling of selfish if asking for more. It would be nice to feel the amazing lovemaking we had in the first couple years, not sure how or why it changed. But it does and they think all is well, because we never fight or argue. (Truely we have only faught or argued twice in 4 1/2 years) Ya,Ya,Bla,Bla,Right, moving on. I know most men always gets pleaser and satisfied, and after they are content. But what about us? I think I know how you feel and I hope you can find the answer....I will be checking for it, too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): am glad you didn't cheat on him.I understand its tough to handle.You can break up with him on any number of reasons.Don't hurt him though.It may not be his mistake at all.It takes two to tango.Where does that leave you?In the same situation with your future boy friend.Please think a lot and discuss honestly with him as to where you went wrong.I know this for a fact.NOONE can perform under pressure atleast in this one area!!
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A
male
reader, Bryanz +, writes (24 October 2008):
I agree with DoubleM. Time is on you're side, but sex isen't the whole part of a relationship. And yeah, I am younger then you. So you might think im a idiot but its true. If its a stable and healthy relationship keep with it. Sex isen't everything Best of luck. . (Sorry to offend you in any way if I did)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 October 2008):
 Most fortunately, you are still very young - and you will learn that it is sometimes necessary to move on. A perfect partner does not exist, but a good partner is possible to find. You likely need to continue looking for the one who will make you truly happy - at least happier. Time is on your side. Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes the solution.
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (24 October 2008):
 I have to tell you, when MY boyfriend said that to ME, I was really hurt, and my self-esteem was at an all time low. I started being really scared to do anything sexually for fear that yet again, I wouldn't satisfy him. Maybe he's performing badly because he's so worried that he's not going to please you. And another thing, What you said is REALLY hurtful and mean. Lying is not good, but sometimes it must be done. White lies to spare someones feelings are not bad. What you said was bad. If he's not for you, then simply tell him that you need to see other people. You dont have to be rude about things and tell him that his performances dont "match your standards" It's mean.
Victoria~
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