A
female
age
30-35,
*AWR007
writes:Hello, My problem is that my boyfriend always texts back after an hour or two or even sometimes not at all in the odd rare occassion - sometimes i text him again later on to see if i get a reply, normaly which i do - usually saying he is sorry and he is doing something...but, we had an argument this morning as he had texted me yestetday as he didnt text back for 7 hours then he texted me saying he will text later as he was round at his friends house so i texted him saying "i really dont know why u bother texting me at times" and then he said "its better to text than to not text at all" and i went crazy at this and starting saying that is tht the only reason he texts me in the first place just so he has texted me etc.. i proceeded by saying i was going to my bed and that i was not arguing with him just a little hurt byhis comment and he kept on saying sorry and it was a bad choice of words and that he is just bad at texting people he is not a texter... and i believe him as sometimes when he gets texts he will read them and not reply or just not look at his phone at all to read the text when i am there ...so this morning i woke up still holding a bit of a grudge (as us girls do!!) and decided to text him a rant about what he said ...then he phoned me saying that he is so sorry and that he didnt mean it like that at all he always wants to speak to me its just that when he is at uni he doesnt look at his phone cause he will get distracted and when he isnt at uni he will forget to text ppl back or just not bother to then he said he was sorry and that he really isnt someone who has their phone with them every second and he doesnt really like texting people and he didnt mean whagt he said last night he is just rotten at texting.what do you reckon?am i being too hard with him :/ and should I just accept that he doesnt like texting people?? are guys like this ??
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 March 2011):
 hi
yes, accept him the way he is. you re more of a texter than him but it doesn't make him a bad person. you are the one who needs to look at your texting behaviour not him i'm afraid. just try to chill out and accept the fact that you have known him long enough to know that he WILL text you at some point so there is no need for you get panicky about it.
relax and enjoy the relationship coz if you carry on acting high maintenenance like this you could actually lose him
xx
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 If you want to talk to him immediately, call him. If you send a text, he may be busy or distracted or just not get around to replying. Men think of texts as a more convenient form of email, not an emergency conversation that has to be handled instantly. He- not snubbing you or ignoring you. And he makes sure to at least reply, sooner or later. You can't treat every text message like a test: "If he doesn't resond in 5 minutes, he doesn't love me." And if you hold grudges and chew him out for now being instantly available every minute of every day, in class, with friends, at work, whenever you want him to drop everything to text back, you're just going to smother and frustrate him.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Woooahhhhh slow down there lady!
I am a girl, and I know about obsessive texting but you need to step back a bit!
Boys/men are generally rubbish about texting. You do find the odd one who is an obsessive texter, but these are not common and most guys will look at the phone go "bleh" and ignore it until they remember 1 hr or day later. And yes, it is SO ANNOYING when they dont respond instantly, I do understand that, but you just have to relax.
If your boyfriend is in Uni, and in lectures then he will not be able to respond. I teach at a uni, and I usually hit the roof if I see anyone texting during my class. Its rude and shows total lack of respect for the lecturer, and the other students.
Just out of interest, how old are you? And are you at University too? Do you live in the same place? It just sounds like you may be more of a long distance relationship?
Most students ar Uni, are always doing things. There is a lot of socialising going on, and often they get so involved they dont reply to anything. Even being yelled at! If they are in the library, there may not be signal, or perhaps he is just busy. If he is trying to write a 3000 word essay, he really doesnt need to be bombarded by text messages every 20 minutes. its annoying and distracting.
Being in a relationship is about trust, give and take, and knowing when to give your partner space.
Your boyfriend does actually text you back. I know this is one or two hours later, but he does reply! I think you just need to accept this is how he is, and it is no reflection on your relationship.
The more you nag him, the more he will get resentful that you are trying to keep tabs on him, and control him. This could lead to even more arguments.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): Wow, you are bombarding him with too much texts! He will feel crowded if you are too aggressive with contacting him all day and wanting ASAP responses. Turn your phone off if you are tempted to text bomb him. Set a rule for yourself and only text him one message until he texts you and wait an hour or so to text him back. Keep busy and you won't obsess.
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