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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, What am i going to do?? My boyfriend has a very low sex drive, this is now fine by me. Ive tried lots to improve our sex life but hes not interested. ive accepted this but the problem is I dont enjoy the sex when we do have it (once every 6 wks approx) He usually gets the urge when hes had a few drinks but ive lost interest and cringe when i feel hes horny. Why? because hes doesnt do the things he knows i enjoy and i know what hes going to do and its hard work for me to enjoy myself. Im quite happy just to avoid the sex (though i would love a reasonable good sex life but prepared to sacrifice this element!) but im not sure where that will get us. I feel guilty for not having sex with him but then i also feel why should I, ive tried for a very long and feel he doesnt. I cant understand why he just doesnt try, just some effort to help me get aroused. Ive tried talking to him till im blue in the face but nothing works. he just kept saying i will try but never does much. im exhausted from trying and its all in vain. We dont talk about it anymore and please dont say we must communicate cos thats all been done and got me nowhere. Our doc referred him to a physcologist but as we live in spain theres the language barrier. I know sex isnt everything and thats why im still with him. Hes lovely in other ways, thoughtful considerate and loves to hold and hug me. Heres my question-I just feel our relationship cant work longterm with me avoiding the sex and him not getting it! - but i mite be wrong, do you think it can work, or is that a stupid question.
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horny, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
You poor thing is all i can say :o( sex is such an important part of any relationship its not just the act as a whole but the intimacy and the passion the closeness the love between you the desire to make each other happy... and the list could indeed go on here but the fact that you have said your willing to sacrifice this special element really saddens me sweetie :o( so your guy has a low sex drive this is not a problem that stops you from having sex there are lots of options to get through this admittingly you seem like you have tried the obvious ones but try clicking on this link below:-
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20030304-000005.html
on there you will be able to read up about your partners problems and see if there is anything on there you have not tried, but you sound like you are very down about the whole situation at the minute honey you need to relax stop stressing yourself out over this :o) your spot on thinking it won't last with you avoiding sex and him not trying cause this realtionship thing is definately a 2 way stretch you both have to pull evenly or you will botyh get frustrated which will then lead to arguements causing a wedge between you and you don't want that cause the sex thing seems to be the only issue everything else between you seems spot on so my advice would be work through this problem together soon you will overcome the difficulties i hope the link helps
Good Luck Sweetie
I hope my advice was of some help to you sweetie :o) good luck ok... If you ever need someone to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on or maybe a little more advice, truely i'm always here for you ok :o)
You Take Care Babe And Good Luck X
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