A
female
age
30-35,
*mandanash
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half. We get along great, we havn't really had a fight as we seem to be able to take conflict and talk it out, we enjoy spending time together and doing things together and we respect eachother. My only problems are that he hasn't told me loves me and he almost always puts his job ahead of me. I have also asked him if he sees us being together in a year, and he said he didn't know, as he didn't know where he would be in his life, or if he would move away to accommodate his job. I appreciate his honesty, but is this a relationship worth keeping? I believe he has commitment issues from being engaged almost 9 years ago. Are these things I should put up with in this relationship?
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male
reader, GentleGiant +, writes (2 October 2013):
Its plain and simple, any man that does not know about a future with you is not worth keeping. He likes the milk but now does not want the cow now. Sorry for the bad cliche. You just tell him you do not know about a future with him anymore and tell him to move on. If he cannot commit to you, say good-bye. He will probably just dump you anyways when he is finished with you. Get out of this one sided relationship. What the hell here? Good-luck.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 I have to agree with the anonymous poster that your situation doesn't sound too promising.
You could, for instance, give it another three months and see if there's any progress:
+
-+---**-+*` i.e., if he ventures any ideas for what he wants(or does not want/isn't sure) in terms of a future with you.
At that point, if you can be content in continuing with him the way things are, then fine. If not, it would be best to break up with him.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (1 October 2013):
 Unless he was engaged as a teenager, I'm guessing he's somewhat older than you? Definitely old enough to have at least an idea of what he's looking for in life and in a partner.Maybe it is just fear of commitment, but 9 years is a long time to get over whatever scare he had with the commitment 9 years ago. I hate to say it, but when he says "I don't know," there's a good chance what he's really saying is "I don't think I want to settle down with you, but I also know if I tell you that, I'm probably going to lose out on the sex and companionship I'm currently enjoying."Either way, he doesn't sound ready (or like he'll be ready in the near future) to give you the commitment you're looking for. Whether he's worth waiting around on or not is a call only you can make. Good luck and best wishes :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): I was in this situation in January. We are no longer together. I think the best thing u could do is leave. If it's meant to be it'll all work out, my ex kept saying he didn't know, then one day he did and I was told to go. It's heart breaking. Save urself the pain... x
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